Man of the Moment
Matt Keeslar
Kindly direct email to:
dorianwright [at] gmail[dot]com
"Reading his blog is like watching a beloved 50's Rat Pack Vegas act"--Larry Young
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"Dorian Wright is intelligent and slightly bitter, like a fine coffee."--Kevin Church
"Absolutely huggable."--Bully
"It's always fun to see Dorian be bitchy."--Chris Butcher

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Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Next Crotch-Panic Preview
So, there's this Avengers/Invaders book coming out. And it looks like it might be okay. Kind of fun, and it's get Steve Sadowski on art.
But, lately, a certain number of funs have been getting antsy over any suggestion of males with external genitalia in comics Alex Ross is involved in... And, honestly, given the sorts of things they're complaining about, it's quite clear that they don't know what the hell they're talking about.
Luckily, the free preview of Avengers/Invaders you can pick up at your local comic book shop does feature some drawings of super-heroes with bulges that actually, you know, bulge.



 Labels: fandom, Marvel, men
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Wednesday, April 16, 2008
For the Record, Only Two Annoy Me

10) U.N.I.T. dating 9) Season 6B 8) Cartmel Master Plan 7) Russell T. Davies 6) Gay Agenda 5) Half Human 4) Bonnie Langford 3) Adric 2) Granddaughter 1) Looms
Every Doctor Who fan in the world, I can guarantee, is annoyed by at least one of the phrases above.Labels: Doctor Who, fandom
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Monday, April 07, 2008
Oh Comic Fans...Never Change
A new Batman cartoon is announced.
Comic fans react accordingly: With a name like Brave & The Bold i'd hoped we'd get a faithful cartoon for the geek crowd, but thats just insane.

Yes, clearly it is insane to design a cartoon for children and then market it to children, instead of forty-year-olds obsessed with the minutiae of their own childhood.
I'm vaguely disappointed that the promo images haven't prompted this reaction:

But then I remember that if I give it enough time, it will...Labels: DC, fandom, idiots
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Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Crotch-Gate Strikes Back
Just when I thought we had finally put that nonsense behind us once and for all, Crotch Fear rears it's ugly head once again. Unsurprisingly, this time it's another Alex Ross cover that has led fanboys to the uncomfortable realization that men have external genitalia.
Here's the cover, so that we have an idea of what the hell they're going on about.

And here's what they had to say about it, in a thread titled "What's the deal with Alex Ross, JSA and penises?:"
Why are you looking?
Of course Ross will throw in some pantyless snatch from time-to-time, so it all evens out
Maybe he is teh ghey.
I think Alex Ross is repressing something.
That's some lovely gay-baiting, innit?
To be fair, unlike the last time this nonsense reared it's head, most people acknowledge that it's not a big deal that Alan Scott isn't a Ken doll, but there's still that element of shock that some people seem to get at the merest suggestion of a penis in a picture. I know a lot of straight men labor under this belief that their penis is the only one in the world, and that's why everyone wants it, and the suggestion that there are other ones out there sends them into an existential panic, but come on...this is what people think an erect penis looks like?

That is not an erect penis; that's an intense, soft light shining on reflective material. Ross if far from one of my favorite artists, but technically he's very good, and all he's done there is a very slight suggestion of an absolutely normal pants bulge on a man. It's nothing to be excited about.
Here, this is what an erect penis looks like:
 And again:

You'll notice they appear to be pointing in one direction. If Alan Scott is pointing with that tiny bulge, and comic fans think that's a big penis, then the significant others of comic fans must be very disappointed.Labels: fandom, men, sighing heavily
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Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Obscurity Is Joy
The new DC solicitations have been released, and these are the ones containing the first solicitations for Final Crisis and the, by the scale of these things, modest number of cross-overs. And, predictably, I've already seen, here and there, a few mumblings of discontent over the fact that, judging by these early solicitations, two obscure and nearly forgotten villains are at the center of Final Crisis, namely Libra and the Human Flame. "Oh, why can't it be someone important, like Darkseid or Mongul or Sinestro?" they say. "Why can't it be someone cool, like Hush or the Joker or Doomsday?" a few say as well.
Well, bah to the whiners I say, because:

There are a couple of very good reasons to use obscure characters for a project like this. Primarily, minor and forgotten characters are great tools for writers. They have no huge backlog of history or continuity to get tangled up with. They're blanks, and a good writer will take that blank and turn it into whatever they want it to be. History, motivation, personality; the characters were one-off and one-note when they first appeared, now they can be more. But more importantly, there's a very practical reason why a minor Justice League villain and an unknown Martian Manhunter villain are ideal for a project like this. Frankly, no one cares about them. They're not going to be appearing in any movies. They're not going to be featured in any cartoons. No one is clamoring for a Libra lunch-box. This means that Morrison is free to do...pretty much anything he wants with or to them, and no one is going to be terribly upset. No marketing or licensing opportunities of significance will be lost if the Human Flame is killed off. No will send death threats to Morrison if Libra dies in the story. Well, except for the people who post to scans_daily, and they whine if a character so much as stubs their toe in a comic.
Also of note: DC Universe Special: Justice League of America, reprinting issues 111, 166, 167 and 168 of the original Justice League series. These would be the issues that feature Libra and the Secret Society of Super-Villains, including the infamous "the Society does a mind-swap with the League" story that so many DC writers have referenced in recent years.
And, of course, more Wildcat:
 Labels: DC, fandom, Wildcat
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Sunday, February 10, 2008
How Internet Fandom Works
I point out this article to Ken because I think it's an interesting look at how the producer of a successful sci-fi show approaches online fandom.
Ken uses that article as a springboard to talk about the negative extremes some fans go to.
Mike and I both link to Ken's piece because we think it's good writing and makes a point worth listening to.
Hysterical, over-sensitive fans take offense at what Ken wrote because, frankly, he described their behavior and attitude to a "t."
Andrew points out that the hysterical, over-sensitive fans basically proved Ken's point for him.
I write about all this because, honestly, I'm laughing my ass off at the echo-chamber Ken was talking about being shown in action so perfectly.Labels: fandom, meta
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Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Sugar-coating It
One of the quirks of online fandoms is their...interesting attitude towards the truth. When a fan says something is "true" it doesn't necessarily mean what a non-fan might think it means. So, as a public service, and with pretty pictures to help make the lesson more interesting, in ascending order from "least true" to "most true" in the eyes of fans, I present:





Why, yes, they are in the right order. These are fans remember...Labels: fandom, men, meta
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Monday, February 04, 2008
From Hell's Heart I Stab At Thee!
I only occasionally bother to do a full score look at Previews. Frankly, there's too many other people out there doing it. So I really have to hold off on it unless there is sufficient material I find appalling enough to merit taking the time to do one. And by "appalling enough" what I mean is: I feel the need to go wash a couple layers of skin off with a pumice stone when I contemplate being in the same building as people who want to own these things.
Yeah, this was one of those months...
Liberty Meadows Keychain Trading Figures—Page 63 How to get me to buy Frank Cho merchandise:
 Make me a little duckling riding a dachsund. (There's going to be a huge-breasted woman on the package, isn't there?)
Cybercontroller Statue—Page 64 I'm a fairly shameless Doctor Who fan, and the success of the new series has meant that, finally, I can get my hands on decent merchandise. And still…
 A $300 "Weta Collectibles" Cyberman statue? No. (We will not mention the $330 Dalek statue…)
Spawn: Age of Pharohs—Jackal King—Page 177 Okay, the picture isn't that great, but:
 It's nice to see McFarlane toys finally putting out a toy with a noticeable package in addition to the obligatory female figure with big…assets.
Secret Invasion—Marvel Previews Page 41 Only two cross-over titles…that's positively restrained. 'Couse, I'm not the slightest bit interested. Largely this is due to the series getting sadled with an artist not even remotely the slightest bit to my taste. But also because I already sat through this storyline with the Dire Wraiths. And the Manhunters. (It wasn't very good those last two times, either.)
Jim Butcher's The Dresden Files: Welcome to the Jungle—Page 266 No joke, I just wanted to be sure Pete saw that a Harry Dresden comic was coming out.
The Nye Incidents—Page 274 A new graphic novel from Devil's Due. This is the first line of the ad:
 Okay, so we're looking at some sort of non-fiction comic, like Palestine or something by Harvey Pekar, right?
 Ah, so "True Events" is evidently a typo for "Unadulterated Bullshit." Devil's Due really should hire a better proof-reader.
Thirsty For Love—Page 290 This is the description for this yaoi title from Digital Manga Publishing's June' imprint: Orie Nakano’s girlfriend is cheating on him with two other men! One is the mysteriously untouchable Tatsumi, and the other is the basketball-playing upperclassman that Orie idolizes. But things are far from being as simple as they seem, and now the three men are inevitably pulled towards each other and bond together by their love for Yuka, which extends much farther than just the girl herself. Love, admiration and lust intermingle around them in an inescapable spiral in this coming of age sexy romance. Teenage boys sleeping with the same girl leads, somehow, to gay sex…Yeah…You know, some gay men really don't like the way yaoi depicts gay men. Plots like this sort of drive home why.
Mack Bolan, The Executioner: The Devil's Tools—Page 306 Given how many comic-book characters are thinly disguised riffs on Mack Bolan, it's nicely full circle that a new comic featuring the character is coming out. Man, The Executioner. I can remember a time when there were two or three bays full of "men's adventure" novels in every bookstore I ever went to. I can't even remember the last time I saw even a single copy of something in the genre in a bookstore. Low sales killed off the genre, I guess. Well, to be more specific, the self-fulfilling prophecy of "men don't read/let's not put out light reading for men" killed the genre. Now I can find seven or eight bays worth of books about plucky young women going to the big city and getting their dream job and a guy who will put them in their place (but for the love of all that's holy, don't call the book a "romance"). I don't even like men's adventure novels (well, the cover art is usually a hoot) and I feel put out that the genre's gone…
Captain Action #0—Page 319 Really Moonstone? That's the license you went after?
Okay, I'm scanning the next two, because if I don't someone's going to call me a liar:

 Okay, I'm going to save all of you lovely people $220. The comics industry started when a bunch of gangsters looking to launder their money found a way to cheat a bunch of teenagers and people who couldn't break into real illustration jobs out of their intellectual property. They made a lot of money doing so and have done their level best to whittle away their audience ever since. Now we are left with an industry where Marvel and DC screw Diamond, Diamond screws every other publisher, everybody screws retailers and fans complain that they're not being sufficiently coddled to. Honestly, what's the market for these books? I'm picturing them appealing to the same sort of people who sign up for a $2000 course in "How to Save Money."
A Whole Shitload of Indiana Jones Novels—Page 408 If I'm not mistaken, all these books are reprints of the novels that came out after Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, when Lucasfilm tried to create an "Expanded Universe" for the Indiana Jones films, given that it didn't seem likely that a fourth film would be made and they had to get more income off the property somehow. I made the mistake of reading one of them once. I'd advise against them.
Family Guy Presents Episode IV: A New Hope Premium Trading Cards--420 Trading cards based on the Star Wars parody episode of the worst animated series since Capitol Critters. I'm not going to make fun of anyone who buys these. How could I possibly add to your shame?
American Flagg! Ltd Edition Hardcover Book Set—Page 427 This is not the long-awaited new collection of this series. No, this is a set of old hard-covers that were, presumably, sitting around in some warehouse somewhere. I can't help but feel that the presence of this listing in the catalog should be taken as a sign that the new collection still won't be coming out anytime soon. I expect we'll see the next issue of Ultimate Hulk vs Wolverine before we see that collection.
The Golden Compass Basic Action Figures—Page 446 In case you somehow missed picking these up when every toy store in the country had shelf after shelf of pegwarmers going unwanted before Christmas…
The Princess Bride: Talking Dread Pirate Roberts Plush—Page 450
 Oh, I hope it's in scale with the Another Country plush dolls!
Randy Bowen's Gargoyle Statue—Page 466 Get it now, before Disney's lawyers get wind of it:
 I'm just sayin'…

Medieval Wooden Sword—Page 518
 I love this little reminders of the fact that Diamond still considers head shops and Ren Faires to be an important part of their business model.
Labyrinth Door Knocker—Page 519
 I just want to draw your attention to one line here: "…One can hardly speak and the other can hardly hear, making them a form of living irony." i-ro-ny, noun, "the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning." A door knocker that cannot speak or hear because of where the ring is placed really doesn't fit that definition. At all. (This observation submitted by Little Mikey Sterling, Aged 52, of Greater San Buenaventura, California)
Sweeney Todd Razor Prop Replica—Page 521
 This has been your "oh dear God, these fucking prop replicas need to fucking stop already" entry for the month.
Doctor Who Micro Universe Game—Page 535
 Doctor Who clicky-style collectable miniature game? Oh, my yes.Yes yes yes.
Eleven Men Out DVD—Page 548 I nearly dropped my copy of Previews when I came across this. In the midst of all the anime, bargain-basement horror films, nerd-core television shows and soft-core porn, Diamond is soliciting a European film about a gay soccer team. It's unprecedented! I wonder what they thought they were soliciting…Labels: fandom, idiots, Previews
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Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Phrase of the Day
Still moving, updates still to be spotty, so amuse yourselves with this:
NONA...Nerds Only Need Apply
I was thinking of this while reading a discussion of the new Star Trek film, and how my gut feeling is that the franchise hasn't lain fallow long enough to remove the stigma of being for a hard-core cult audience that a new film version needs to be viable. That, to be truly effective, the franchise needs a Doctor Who or Battlestar Galactica length gap between old and new versions; long enough to make the old fans happy it's back, but also long enough to make the wider audience comfortably nostalgic for it. At this point, it doesn't matter how many pretty young men you pack into the film (and boy howdy, are they packing them into this movie...almost as if they're deliberately banking on gay men and slashing fangirls shoring up the box office), the general public's opinion of Star Trek is that it's something for nerds, by nerds, and no one but nerds would have any interest in it.
But, I kind of like that turn of phrase, NONA, even if I must say so myself. And now I'm curious; what else out there in the pop culture spectrum do you think is being hurt (or helped) by the Nerds Only Need Apply attitude of creators?Labels: fandom, film, meta
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Friday, January 11, 2008
Discuss
Actual message board quotes:
True writing talent comes from inspirational ideas, vision and creativity. The boring technical stuff can be done by others.
The characters are not there to serve your super-special plot. Rather, your plot should serve the characters. This a fundamental rule of writing in someone else's universe. *I* obey it and I don't even get paid, you fuckwads.
Two different people, two different message boards, two different fandoms. And yet, both very telling about the nature of fandom in general, I think. And you?Labels: fandom, meta
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Thursday, November 15, 2007
By Analogy
This week's Shortpacked! features a particularly good look at a specific type of online criticism.
Also of note this Newsweek commentary on how video game critics, used to companies trying to appeal to a narrow demographic of hard-core gamers, have had difficulty coming to grips with the deliberately broad appeal of the Wii. But of course, I'd never suggest that the Wii has any lessons to teach the comic book industry in this regard, oh no...narrow-casting to an increasingly diminishing audience is obviously a recipe for success...
Also also, because it deserves note, Andrew's tribute to the greatness that is Steve Lombard. His post-Crisis absence is another mistake Byrne must someday answer for...Labels: fandom, meta
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Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Odds 'n Ends
A cartoon for fans of Sleestaks.
A very nice Wolverine drawing by J. Bone
Annotations for the new volume of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
An indispensable resource for translating Geek Speak
And now...Reviews of Comics I Haven't Read
All Star Superman #9: Man, I never would have seen the death of Superman coming, nor his elevation to godhood. What a completely unexpected twist. Too bad there are no utterly infallible online gossip columns with 100% accuracy records to have given us clues about that... Oh, and I'm sure this will be a permanent and forever change to the Superman status quo, as well.
Batman and the Outsiders #1: Finally, Batman is being written as he was always meant to be written: as a homophobic prick.
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier: After the last two volumes, and the edgy Lost Girls, I think it was quite shocking to discover that this latest volume is a completely sincere and serious examination of the history of British children's television. I had no idea there was a secret connection between the Wombles, Balamory and Danger Mouse. Nor that it was so sinister in nature.
Amory Wars #4: Not only does this book completely justify the oft-mocked and long-neglected genre of "comics based on lyrics", but it completely justifies prog-rock as well!
Scott Pilgrim Vol. 4: Now this was an unexpected change of direction. I don't know, maybe it's me, but based on the previous volumes, I think having Scott realize the vapidity of his hipster lifestyle and become the figurehead of a mass-murdering cult...it's a bit of a darker turn than I think the series needed to go in.
And now, by request of Mike Sterling, PORN!

With added special deluxe bonus Ed Fury!
 Labels: Dorian done gone lost his mind, fandom, men, meta
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Tuesday, September 25, 2007
As It Ever Was

That's from Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane #124, dated July 1972. All it needs is a "you're raping my childhood by making Lucy Lane a dead crook" whine to be virtually indistinguishable from an average post on a contemporary comic book message board. Well, and worse grammar and spelling.
Anyway, two issues later, came this missive:

Man, I'd love to know what this guy thought of the story from 128, where Lois and Marsha Mallow get trapped on the Isle of Lesbos... Oh, because as if you couldn't tell, that was a man who wrote that letter. A man not at all comfortable with being reminded that, hey, women have opinions and there are people who aren't white in this world, while reading his "Emasculating Shrew and her Asshole Boyfriend Monthly" Lois Lane comics.Labels: DC, fandom, vintage
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Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Little Things
One more from Heart Throbs because it is fan-fucking-tastic:

Now that's how you tell off the emotionally abusive jerk who is blackmailing you into marriage with the threat of falsely accusing your room-mate of attempted murder, crazy green lady!
I plan on coming back to this, but since the comics blogosphere seems to be in the midst of another conversation about representation and privilege, I found this quote to be interesting: A lot of the protests against the film in ‘80 said that it seemed to indicate that the gay lifestyle brought about murder, death, violence… and strangely, you know I find that so off-base. I never got the same criticism from the French government when I made The French Connection and the dope smuggler is a French guy and the guy working for him as his hit man is another French guy. And I never heard from French people that I was accusing all French people of smuggling heroin into America, but that was one of the tacks taken by the protests in 1980.--William Friedkin
Hey, how many problems with Friedkin's statement can you spot?
Short Thoughts on This Week's Comics
APOCALYPSE NERD #5 (OF 6)-- I prefer Bagge's earlier, funnier works. His current work is just further support of my theory that you can't put your politics before your art.
COUNTDOWN TO MYSTERY #1 (OF 8)-- I anticipate Steve Gerber's take on Dr. Fate more than having to hear more whining from the usual suspects about how DC is ill-serving Jeanclipso.
DR THIRTEEN ARCHITECTURE AND MORALITY TP-- Sheer brilliance.
EX MACHINA #30 (MR)-- Dropped because, at this point, the book is quite clearly not going anywhere with it's premise or characters.
GREEN ARROW BLACK CANARY WEDDING SPECIAL #1-- If you value your sanity, or even just your basic faith in the worthiness of humanity, I suggest you avoid any message board or LiveJournal discussion of this title.
PENANCE RELENTLESS #1 (OF 5)-- Oh, 1990, I missed you.
GIRLS OF VIVID 2008 WALL CALENDAR (MR)-- Man, the things Diamond considers worthy of carrying...
This morning's mid-shower realization: zombie covers are the new pogs.Labels: DC, fandom, meta, vintage
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Saturday, September 01, 2007
Oh Please...
If you know me, you know I have difficulty taking nerd outrage seriously. Partly, I think, it comes from having a low tolerance level for bullshit and insanity. But it also comes from working so long in comics retail, where week-in and week-out I'd see someone rant about how "Grant Morrison ruined the X-Men" and "I'm never buying another Marvel title until they fire Joe Quesada"...and then next week or the week after, there that person is, once again buying whatever it was they swore off of.
And so the latest comic target of fan anger that has me rolling my eyes is Amazons Attack. I'm not interested in defending the book; it is what it is, and I don't have the patience anymore to argue that point with people (i.e. what kind of quality did you expect for a mini tying into an upcoming event with some continuity patches thrown in?). But the complaints...man...look here, here and here.
This situation reminds me of what I've referred to as the "Booster Gold Situation" and the "Blue Beetle Situation." That is: If you really think Booster Gold is dead/Wonder Woman is ruined, well clearly you've never read a super-hero comic before. This is all set-up, and it's explicitly presented as set-up. Just as there was no way in hell DC was going to promote the heck out of Booster Gold in 52 and then kill him off before the series reached the half-way mark, there's no way in heck DC is going to make this "new status quo" for Wonder Woman, the Greek gods and the Amazons permanent. Likewise, if all the people now lamenting the death of Blue Beetle/ruining of Wonder Woman had, you know, actually been reading comics with Blue Beetle or Wonder Woman before now, instead of reading about them on message boards and copyright infringing LiveJournal groups, they'd have had the best-selling books on the market. So pardon me if I view your insistence that no, really, you're a big Blue Beetle/Wonder Woman fan with a bit of skepticism.
But, you know, there I go again, expecting rational or logical behavior from super-hero fans. More fool me, I guess. So, in any case, lay off Will Pfeifer. His other work is good enough we can forgive him the odd, editorially mandated clunker.Labels: fandom, idiots
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Thursday, August 23, 2007
This Week
Books I Bought On Wednesday
None! Hah! I don't buy books on Wednesday!
Books I Would Have Bought On Wednesday
BATMAN #668 Morrison brings so much joy.
BIRDS OF PREY #109 A consistently fun book, and I'm curious to see what Bedard brings to it.
BLUE BEETLE #18 The best Spider-Man book on the market.
COUNTDOWN 36 Screw you, I like it.
GREEN ARROW YEAR ONE #4 (OF 6) Diggle and Jock, so a guaranteed sell. And Ollie doesn't come off as a complete tool. But that mischaracterization aside...
GREEN LANTERN CORPS #15 "Sinestro Corps War" is such a stupidly good idea.
JSA CLASSIFIED #29 Uhm, no idea...buyer's inertia? The overall ratio of "good" to "bad" is better than on JLA Classified.
OUTSIDERS FIVE OF A KIND WEEK 4 METAMORPHO AQUAMAN Is it wrong of me to hope that New Wave will show up in this new version of Batman and the Outsiders at some point?
SHOWCASE PRESENTS WONDER WOMAN VOL 1 TP These are dreadful, but in that semi-charming Silver Age nuttiness sort of way. Plus, you know, blogging fodder for dozens of people for weeks.
SPIRIT #9 Not sure if I'm going to stick with this past Cooke's departure.
SUPERGIRL AND THE LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #33 For Pete. I don't like this new version of the Legion at all.
SUPERMAN #666 (NOTE PRICE) I really like what Busiek has been doing with the Superman books. Between him and Morrison, the books are the best they've been in decades.
ANNIHILATION CONQUEST STAR LORD #2 (OF 4) That the presence of Rocket Raccoon is apparently enough for me and other people to pick this book up makes the odd lack of a trade for Mignola's Rocket Raccoon mini even more puzzling.
FANTASTIC FIVE #4 (OF 5) Consistently, I find myself liking the MU2 stuff more than the regular Marvel comics. They're slight, but they're good fun, and it's nice to see the Marvel heroes acting heroically.
THE ORDER #2 CWI Still on the fence. The first issue didn't suck, but neither did it blow me away. And why are all the female characters exposing their belly buttons?
ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #45 After that interminable Thanos story, there's been a noticeable uptick in quality.
INUBAKA CRAZY FOR DOGS VOL 4 TP Cute girls and cute dogs. It's almost like the perfect manga.
MOUSE GUARD WINTER 1152 #1 (OF 6) I debated switching to trades, but every issue I buy is one less for speculators to get their hands on.
NAOKI URASAWAS MONSTER VOL 10 TP Okay, no, this is the perfect manga.
Books I'm Not Buying This Week
BATMAN LOBO DEADLY SERIOUS #1 (OF 2) I digs me some Sam Keith, but I'm all about Lobo-ed out.
BOMB QUEEN III #4 (OF 4) (MR) Every time I see this on the shelf, I sigh quietly to myself. At least I don't have to actually sell it to people myself anymore.
AMAZING FANTASY OMNIBUS VOL 1 HC VAR $75 for pre-super-hero Marvel books? Uhm, pass, thanks.
HALO UPRISING #1 (OF 4) (MR) The Cult of Halo confuses me. It's just a FPS. And not even a very good one, from what I can tell.
30 DAYS OF NIGHT DARK DAYS TP NEW PTG (MR) Hey, look, the trades coming back into print in a reasonable amount of time before the movie premieres! That's how you can tell Dark Horse didn't publish this.
BLACK SUMMER #2 (OF 7) (MR) I'm definitely feeling Ellised out. I read the preview, and I just wasn't feeling this book. It's tired, well tread ground for Ellis and dozens of other creators.
SHOJO BEAT SEP 07 VOL 3 #9 Dropped. We're at the point now where the only thing in the magazine I want to read is Absolute Boyfriend, and I can't justify $6 a month for that.
TOUPYDOOPS #6 (RES) (MR) Mike says there's something in this issue which will annoy me. I'm assuming he means apart from the lack of anything funny in a supposed humor book.
ZOMBIES VS ROBOTS HC (OCT068201) If I ran the comics industry, there'd be no more fucking zombie books.
CLASSIC MARVEL FIGURINE COLL MAG #45 SHADOWCAT Kitty Pryde fans creep me out, man.Labels: DC, fandom, Marvel, my fanboy entitlement is showing again
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Wednesday, August 15, 2007
What I'm Not Buying This Week
Based on Diamond's shipping list.
SERENITY PVC SET: I always catch this sad whiff of desperation off of Serenity/Firefly merchandise, as if people are hoping that, if they keep putting things out, someday it will have more than a small cult following.
BOOSTER GOLD VAR ED #1: Does this book really need a variant cover?
GRIFTER MIDNIGHTER #6 (OF 6): Do we need to revisit why this series stayed off my buy list?
RIPCLAW PILOT SEASON #1: This "Pilot Season" thing might have been a good way to test out material without committing to an ongoing...too bad it's being done with Top Cow properties.
DP 7 CLASSIC VOL 1 TP: Once again, Marvel fails the "Perceived Value" test (see also Planet Hulk and Annihilation hard-covers). I'm not willing to pay $25 for material I can get out of dollar boxes. Now, an Essential edition, that I would buy.
SUPER VILLAIN TEAM UP MODOKS 11 #2 (OF 5): I don't get the MODOK-love from bloggers. Even as far as big-headed campy Marvel villains go, he's not that interesting.
THOR 2ND PTG COIPEL VAR #1: This isn't solely something Marvel does, but I get the impression that the "second printings" have become less about meeting unexpected demand and more about creating the impression of success. Especially from a "print to order" publisher.
AVENGERS CLASSIC #1 ART ADAMS CVR CGC 9.8 ED: This would be Wizard selling a pre-slabbed reprint comic. This would be one of the reasons why I think the comics industry would be better off without Wizard.
BABY SITTERS CLUB VOL 3 MARY ANNE SAVES THE DAY SC: More power to them, I hope these find their intended audience, but lord, I have no desire to read this.
BATTLE VIXENS VOL 12 GN (OF 12) (MR): The long-awaited conclusion to the gripping Battle Vixens saga. I'll leave it to your imagination to work out what the fans are gripping.
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA CYLON SILVER FOIL CVR #12: I can't decide which phrase is more of a disincentive, "silver foil" or "Battlestar Galactica."
DRACULA VS KING ARTHUR LTD ED HC (RES): Did this really warrant a hard-cover?
GI JOE STORM SHADOW #3: In-joke alert--No, young man, there are no good ninja comics.
INU YASHA ANI MANGA VOL 22 GN: I'm amazed these are still coming out, frankly. I lost interest in the regular series long ago. The Macguffin was just getting to the point of self-parody.
KODT BUNDLE OF TROUBLE VOL 20 TP: I used to buy these, as for a gaming comic the writing tends to be pretty spot-on. Which was the problem, in fact. It was too spot-on, and the book was just becoming depressing to read.
PORKY #2 (A): Mike never got in Porky #1 for me...
SCARFACE DEVIL IN DISGUISE #2 (MR): In Southern California, at least, the Scarface film seems to be particularly popular with Hispanic pre-teens. I never thought the original film was very good, and the "continuing adventures of" approach the book was promised to take seems to miss the point of the film.
ZOMBIE HIGHWAY DIRECTIONLESS (MR): I never need to see another zombie comic as long as I live.
GREYS ANATOMY MAGAZINE #4: I understand from Mike that these TV show tie-in mags don't sell new, but sell as back-issues. Which is a phenomenon I've never understood.
TMNT 2007 MOVIE DVD: Only a week and a day after every other store in the country got this in. Which is why I never buy DVDs through Diamond.Labels: fandom
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Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Dorian Vs. The End of Civilization in Review
 I opened up my copy of Previews, and it immediately flopped to this postcard. That's a hell of a thing to have to see right off.
And no, no "Boob Count" this month. Do you have any idea how damn depressing it was to do last time?
Groo is apparently coming back, and bringing with it some of its subtle political themes. Of course, I don't remember online conversations about politics being quite so...vitriolic...the last time a Groo comic was on the stands. No doubt we'll see a "hilarious" blog post from the conservative comics blogosphere debunking the "Global Warming Myth" hinted at in the solicitation for Hell on Earth.
Dark Horse is bringing John Norman's Gor books back into print. One of the most blatantly misogynistic fantasy series of all time, if not the most misogynistic fantasy series. A series alleged to have inspired real-life crimes against women. And I've yet to hear a peep about it from anyone...
Yet another new edition of The Pro is due out...man, Ennis is just determined to cause Steranko a coronary, isn't he?
 Oh, great...more zombie crap...
No, seriously...Gold Digger still comes out? Well, good for Fred Perry, I guess.
This is me avoiding a cheap shot at The Unfunnies.
Dear Bluewater Productions: you are, in fact, allowed to use colors other than brown.

I think DMP needs a theme song. Any suggestions? (Yes, "Dude looks like a lady" is too obvious.)
Has anyone been reading these Fangoria comics? I've flipped through a couple in the shop, and they're incredibly unpleasant. Both in terms of quality and subject matter. Real pandering to the lowest common denominator stuff here. I'm half curious to know if anyone out there actually is enjoying these things. But then, I also think they may be aiming at a market other than comic fans. Have they been hyping these things in the magazine and the horror fandom circuit?
Also, this seems as good a time as any to mention it, but if you've never gone through the "Adult Previews" supplement, I highly recommend it. There's nothing quite like that moment of cognitive dissonance you get when, after going through three or four pages of solicitations for soft-core lesbian porn you come across a full page ad for Japanese boy-love comics.
Oh, all right. "The Unfunnies? Talk about truth in advertising!"
 So, after all that grief Diamond gave Tim Leong about Comic Foundry not meeting their standards (reminder: Diamond carries such products as the Rich Little Bitch DVD and Girls and Corpses magazine), they carry it and give it a "Spotlight On" tag...Granted, Housewives at Play: Lez Be Friends is also a "Spotlight On" item. Also, go tell your friendly local comics retailer that you want Comic Foundry.
 You thought I was kidding about Girls and Corpses, didn't you?
From the solicitation for God's Gift: Over 100 Studs, Stallions and Dreamboats of the 70s and 80s: "From Arnold Schwarzenegger and Patrick Swayze, to Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds and Mr. T, this sexy collection of over one-hundred Lotharios, Romeos, and Casanovas from the '70s and '80s is sure to make your pulse race..." Now, I lived through the 80s...I don't remember Mr. T at any point being considered a hunk. Hell, I think they're stretching to include Arnie...
 "You're sure this is a legitimate modeling gig, right? Not some weird fetish mag?"
 Surprisingly, not the gayest toy in Previews this month.
 Oh, so Asian kids don't get names, is that it? Mezco are a bunch of racists! (That last line may have been a joke...)
 Who's the cutest widdle mass-murderer? You are! Yes you are! Oh, yes you are!
This would be the gayest toy in Previews this month:
 There, fangirls, are you happy? A man being objectified in the exact same way as all those girly statues and toys! Happy? Satisfied? (That last line may have been a joke...) [Yes, it really was a joke! He's in a strong, assertive pose, not waiting to be mounted. So not at all like any of the girly statues, really.]
Oh, I think I may have found a cuter widdle mass-murderer!
 Pete, if you're reading this, no, I do not really find mass-murderers cute.
 Actual conversation I had with that jerk Mike when I placed my order for this: "You know Dorian, you should really get a Cyberman. Martha and the Doctor need someone to fight." "Oh, they're not going to fight, Mike." "Gyah!" (Yes, I did order the Cyberman. But not Novice Hame. Though, man, she does look cool...)
Man, a new edition of Talisman and a Kingdom Hearts CCG? Nerd Bliss! (Admit it, some of you are shocked that I'm a geek for one of those things, much less both of them.)Labels: Doctor Who, fandom, Previews
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Thursday, July 05, 2007
Things That Make Me Happy

The news that Catherine Tate will star in the fourth series of Doctor Who as a full-time companion has been causing melt-downs in Doctor Who-fandom for almost a week now. It's a full-on, fan entitlement, "the official canon contradicts my fan-fiction", "it sucks because it's not the way I would do it" fantrum spree on every Doctor Who fan-site and message-board. I'm having fun with it, because, you know me, if it causes this much hair-pulling in fandom, I tend to think it's probably a good thing.
Funny thing is, the last time I saw this much fanguish in Doctor Who, it was when the series came back and they announced that it would be co-starring some Britney-wannabe pop singer.
Me, I'm kinda warming to the idea. We need another Tegan. Besides, it could be worse...we could be getting another Adric...or Peri...shudder...
God, I love comics...

 Labels: Doctor Who, fandom, vintage
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Friday, June 29, 2007
Superhero Fans in Microcosm
DC partners with Mattel to make toys based on DC properties.
Fan reaction: Alan Moore is a big jerk for not letting DC make Watchmen action figures.
Christ...Labels: DC, fandom, idiots
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Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Marvel and DC in September
DC in September
Two Countdown spin-off minis, as well as a spin-off one-shot dedicated to how the Wildstorm universe fits into the 52 universes paradigm, not to mention three 52 spin-offs and another Sinestro Corps special tells me that, nope, we're still not out of the "massive cross-over" woods yet. Cue the complaints from people who will buy them all anyway!
The Black Canary/Green Arrow wedding gets started in earnest, and, oh my, how the fan entitlement rants are flying with confused arguments for how the marriage of two fictional characters is definitive proof that DC HATES WOMEN, with a delicious extra dash of "let's kill the people who work for DC" popping up every now and again...because, as everyone knows, marriage is a male fantasy of domination over women, and no woman in her right mind would ever want to get married because, you know, she loves the guy...You know, I can see objecting to the marriage because it's clearly a stunt. I can see objecting to it for reasons of characterization. But marriage=misogyny? Christ... On the other hand, that it even occurs to people to think of marriage that way is a sign that maybe we shouldn't let you damn breeders even get married, if you're going to debase the institution with tawdry displays instead of seeing it as a sign of bonding and love.
I mean, let's take the first book, the Black Canary Wedding Planner, written by J. Torres, a notorious misogynist, second only to Dave Sim I'm sure (that's a joke, by the way):

Now, I look at that image, and I see a jokey take on the mishaps that can occur on a wedding day. Other people look at that image and see "OMG, LINGERIE, OBJECTIFICATION! AND SHE'S KNOCKING OVER THE CAKE! SEXISM! SHE'S BEING PORTRAYED AS INCOMPETENT!"
Or this cover to the JLA Wedding Special:

Setting aside the curious emphasis on Wonder Woman's ass, and the overall business of the image, I see a harmless image of a very tame bachelorette party. Others see...well, I'm not actually sure what they see, because other than that it's not a very well composed picture, I'm really straining to see a serious problem with this picture. Okay, yeah, Superman popping out of a cake to strip...maybe not in character. Though with Lois right there, maybe it will. I can totally see Lois enjoying watching her husband strip. And though it's already been pointed out, it bears repeating; regarding this comment: But the Big Blue Boy Scout isn’t exactly who you’d recruit to be your stripper. I gave this some thought, and this is who I came up with for the beefcake: A scantily clad Arsenal/Red Arrow should be bursting out, wearing just a red-and-white toga and doing something cutesy with a “love arrow.”
Yes, just what every woman dreams of on her wedding day...her foster son stripping for her... The internet makes me really not want to know about how comic fans were raised...
Lastly, we get to the actual wedding comic:

I'm not even going to bother to scrounge up the objections to this picture. Mostly they involve the horrible, horrible misogyny of an arrow being attached to her rear end. This despite the fact that she's lifting him, putting her in a dominant position. Never mind the playful sexuality expressed so wonderfully by Amanda Connor on both character's faces. And see, now I'm all depressed and frustrated with comic fans, and I've barely started looking at the books...
Dwane McDuffie takes over as the writer of Justice League of America. This is good news, and that's coming from one of the few people who seems to be enjoying Meltzer's run on the title (pending the ending of this JLA/JSA/Legion cross-over, of course. Something about that story has set my "something really stupid and fan wankish is going to happen" senses tingling). DC manages to spoil this good response, though by taking a quite good cover:
 And splitting it into two pieces. No, guys, seriously, wrap-around is better.
Wonder Woman Annual ships, but we'll place that in the "believe it when I see it" category, and a Wonder Girl mini launches, written by J. Torres and with a nice "girls kick butt" style cover by Sanford Greene:

Green Lantern #23:
 My favorite version is still:

Tales of the Sinestro Corps Presents Parallax is leading to angst in fan circles, with it's suggestion that Kyle becomes Parallax somehow. Me, given how central Kyle seems to be to the Countdown storyline, and given that they already did that story with a Green Lantern, I tend to think it's sloppy and unclear writing.
A second run of the criminally underrated Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters begins, as do new series for Infinity Inc and Suicide Squad. II looks to continue the Steel and Everyman storylines from 52, while SS looks to fill in continuity holes. I can't say either of those prospects gets me too excited.
New Showcase Presents volumes for this month are The Great Disaster and Metal Men. Both are utterly insane, for the record, though I prefer the insanity of the Atomic Knights over the insanity of Silver Age Metal Men.
Superman/Batman #40 brings back Bekka. I'm surprised anyone even remembers Bekka. Checkmate #18 finally gets around to that "oh yeah, Amanda Waller is totally a villain...we should do something about that" storyline that's been waiting in the wings since the series launched (or, since the character was introduced way back when, if you want to get technical).
Flash #232 brings us that vagina dentata cover everyone's been having a good laugh at:
 I have to admit, I went from groaning at the tackiness of the cover, to being annoyed that no one at DC stopped for a minute to consider how this cover would be received, to being kind of annoyed with the escalating outrage over the cover. Yes, it's tacky and stupid, but it's hardly the smoking gun proof that "OMG! DAN DIDIO HATES WOMEN!" I've seen some commentators try to turn it into.
The also underrated Mystery in Space mini gets collected as well, though split into two volumes. This does actually annoy me a bit, because I wasn't planning on buying the trades, but volume two will collect the Jim Starlin/Berni Wrightson The Weird series, and I wouldn't have minded a stand-alone version of that book.
Jodi Picoulet's run on Wonder Woman is collected in hard-cover, and while I want to say that this is the first time the follow-up to a recent storyline has been collected prior to the initial storyline, I'm pretty sure Marvel has done that more than once by now.
I kind of want to know what Kilowog is doing in the cartoon version of the Legion:

CMX looks to have a very good month, with the launches of two mature reader titles: the horror series Presents by Kanako Inuki and Variante, a Frankenstein-ish tale of a girl with a murderous arm graft, as well as another volume of the superlative Gon.
GEN 13 #12 features the Authori-teens. Cute.

DC Beefcake for September Nothing! It's quite upsetting, really.
Marvel in September
Am I alone in thinking that the Marvel Classics line is going down like a lead balloon?
Ultimate Power still isn't over yet?
What an ugly, overly complicated cover...

Michael Turner Ass Shot #1:
 Michael Turner Ass Shot #2:

Hoo-ho! A "cat" fight? Get it? Get it?
 Even if you don't get it, the solicitation text for Ms Marvel #19 is sure to spell it out. It's Ms. Marvel vs. Tigra…cat fight! Why is the leader of the Mighty Avengers battling a host of female heroes? What craziness are new Initiative teammates Machine Man and Sleepwalker up to? And who is pulling all of their strings? Find out as writer Brian Reed (NEW AVENGERS: ILLUMINATI) and artist Aaron Lopresti (PLANET HULK) continue their acclaimed and back-to-back-to-back sell-out run! Yes, because we never would have guessed what they were going for with the horribly literal cover otherwise...
Make fun of Shanna the She-Devil? Naw, too easy.
So, that year long "X-Men in space" storyline still isn't wrapped up, but continues in X-Men: Emperor Vulcan? I know it's traditional for the X-Men books to pad, but a year wasn't long enough to finish the story?
You know, and despite all that above, I think this month will mark the most money I've spent on Marvel comics in years. I count eleven titles I plan to buy from Marvel.
Marvel Beefcake for September Sub-Mariner #4
 Ah, Venom wants to French...Labels: DC, fandom, Marvel
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Monday, June 18, 2007
As Demographics Shift
As recently as thirty years ago, advertisers still considered comic books viable places to advertise to women.

I imagine some people would see this as an improvement...
 Labels: fandom
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Thursday, June 14, 2007
Stepping In It Again
And so the cycle continues...this time it was when one of the more astute retailers out there expressed concerns about Marvel's marketing decisions, in this particular case, the wisdom of redrawing the cover of a comic aimed at and marketed to children so that it now contains a rotting corpse. But not so badly rotting as to not still be kinda sexy! And, predictably, the peanut gallery responded in the predictable way. Which is to go out of their way to miss Chris's point and complain of people trying to spoil their fun.
I'm not offended by the cover. I think it's stupid and crass, but in the grand scheme of things, it's no big deal. That Marvel keeps pulling stuff like this should, maybe, give people pause. And I think beyond the tackiness of sexy corpses, that's the real issue. When I see some of the stuff Marvel releases into the marketplace, the impression I'm given of them as a company is that they're not serious; they're not really interested in being a media corporation. A real business wouldn't blend so easily the lines between their children's properties, their general audience properties, and their mature reader's properties. The impression I'm given is that Marvel is run by a bunch of aging frat boys, cashing in for a quick buck by pandering to the lowest common denominators amongst super-hero fans.
And it's not just in Marvel's marketing that this impression plays out. There's an overall lack of editorial oversight on display at Marvel. I'm hardly one to wax nostalgic for Jim Shooter's reign, as the bulk of Marvel's output at the time was mediocre in terms of art and story...and that's being needlessly generous to it, but it's hard to imagine that past Marvel editors would have adopted the laissez-faire attitude towards retailer relations, late books and over-indulged creators that the current editorial regime has fostered. It's hard to imagine even as draconian a personality as Shooter dismissing out of hand reader's concerns about marketing decisions, as Joe Quesada regularly does.
Take this, the latest example of head-scratching decisions on Marvel's part:

Sure, people were joking that Marvel was going to use "a Skrull did it" as their catch-all explanation for doing away with bad characterization, inane storylines, and failed efforts, but no one actually imagined that anyone at Marvel thought that would actually be a reasonable idea. This isn't a clever idea. It's not even an original idea. It's not even internally consistent with titles Marvel has published now or in the past...but it's "cool." At least to the men in their thirties and forties who run Marvel and act like it's their chance to finally play with the toys, instead of be responsible creators and businesspeople.Labels: fandom, Marvel
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Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Why I Hate Previews
Everybody else seems to do a regular or semi-regular rundown of Previews, but I don't. It's not because there's nothing I find noteworthy in the magazine, it's just that I find the experience of reading it so soul-crushing and mind-numbing and infuriating that I can't imagine that it would be much fun for anyone else to see my reaction. So I went and did the post anyway. I also decided to count the number of covers/toys/ads which seem to use women's chests on display in oddly prominent ways to attract attention.
Dark Horse The thing that strikes me the most about the Dark Horse listing is the sense of "going to the well too many times" so many titles give me. Groo, Richie Rich, Star Wars, Buffy, Conan, Aliens vs. Predator, Neil Gaiman, The Mummy of all things: I'm mostly shocked there's still perceived demand some of these things. Boob Count: 1
DC I've already talked a bit about these solicitations already, and I really can't think of much more to add. Though I still think the odd insistence on "armored versions of characters" in the action figures is sort of odd. Boob Count: 10
Image The apparent offensiveness of Special Forces is only mitigated by the fact that it's Kyle Baker doing it.
I think the existence of a Jon Bon Jovi cheap plastic statue "action figure" should be taken as final proof that Todd McFarlane has too much money, if he can waste it acquiring licenses like this. And doesn't it seem like the Jack Bauer action figure should come with some torture "interrogation" accessories? Boob Count: 11
Marvel Sigh...I want to like you, Marvel. Honest, I do. But you just make it so hard... Boob Count: 12
I'm also honestly surprised that with all the (deserved) grief Marvel has taken lately, this slipped under people's radar:
 Granted, most of the men don't get arms either, but that's still tremendously creepy.
And here's a little cock panic for the straight boys:

Wizard I can't believe people pay money for these shitty magazines.
Anarchy Studios Boob Count: 4, all Vampirella, if that makes any difference.
Antarctic Press The Boob Count is only 2, but in the middle of their solicitations is an atrocious ad for "To Heart 2" figures, so it feels like I should bump that up, even though Antarctic had nothing to do with the ad placement.
Arcana Studio Boob count: 2. The ad for Kade is so prominent, I think it should be counted as well.
Archaia Studios Killing Pickman sounds like something I might be interested in, but not at $3.50 for six issues. I can wait for the trade. I think the ad for Starkweather justifies a Boob Count of one.
Aspen Boob Count: 5. All for Iron & The Maiden.
Avatar Boob Count: 5 Ass Count: 1 Crotch Count: 1 Covers Count: 24 Actual Comics Count: 13 Well, at least they've found a business model that works for them...
Basement Comics Boob Count: 3. Mike tells me Cavewoman used to be readable...
Big Bang Comics Boob Count: 1. But they're Kirby knock-off boobs.
Bloodfire Studios Boob Count: 2, counting their ad. But they're sci-fi elf-girl boobs!
Bluewater Productions How many different names has this company been under? Anyway, Boob Count is 4.
Broadsword You know, I'm not even going to bother with a Boob Count. It's almost the friggin' point of the line...
Broccoli International Boob Count: 2. 250 pages into the book before we get our first manga t&a.
Checker Book Publishing Group With Growing Old with B.C. you can chart Johnny Hart's progression from occasionally funny hack to insane fundamentalist racist, all in one convenient volume!
Class Comics I keep forgetting Diamond carries this line now, and since it's only really listed in the adult supplement, it's not hard to imagine why. Plus, I'm always more than a little surprised to see Diamond carrying gay porn anyway.
Dynamite Entertainment We get five full page ads before we even get to their section. And we get a Boob Count of 21, counting those ads. A new record!
I had a comment all ready to go for Lone Ranger, about how the best way to kill my interest in the Lone Ranger is to put out an incredibly decompressed comic, prompting me to wait for the trade, and then put the trade out in hard-cover...with a variant cover...but the hard-cover isn't solicited in this issue, so the point seems moot.
Del Rey You know, I'm surprised I can't bring myself to justify a Boob Count for Del Rey, given that I've seen Suzuka before, but this cover is downright prudish compared to previous volumes.
Devil's Due Boob Count: 5. Amazingly, G.I. Joe isn't one of them.
Digital Manga Publishing This month they've got Pop Japan Travel: Essential Otaku Guide, a manga-format travel guide to Japan's nerdiest destinations. Something tells me this might be one to stock up on...
Digital Webbing Presents Boob Count: 5
Dynamic Forces I'm just going to pretend that all this crap doesn't exist. It's better that way.
Eighty Eight MPH Studios An "Ecto-1" lithograph from the film Ghostbusters...why?
Fantagraphics I really fail to grasp the appeal of Johnny Ryan. He's so busy trying to be "outrageous" and "offensive" that he always forgets to be "funny."
Graham Crackers Comics Boob Count: 1, for Transformers comic...cripes...
IDW Boob Count: 2, for Gene Simmons Dominatrix and variant. I can't help but think some kind of punctuation is appropriate there, probably an apostrophe, though a colon doesn't seem unreasonable either. Frankly, I'm appalled the market can support six different Transformers titles...none of which seem particularly appropriate for children.
Linsner.com Boob Count: 2, not counting what I'm sure are thoroughly tasteful offerings in the Previews Adult catalog.
Moonstone CLASH: I'm trying to avoid dismissing this as yet another attempt to rewrite Watchmen and failing.
Oni Yes, I'm the jerk who doesn't like Scott Pilgrim. I'm also frankly baffled by the hipster kid ironic nostalgia for heavy metal music, which Black Metal seems to be trying to tap into.
Tokyopo Boob Count: 2. Slow month for Tokyopop. I do reserve the right to mock mercilessly anyone who buys the Star Trek manga.
Tyndale House Manga Messiah: of all the things that come to mind when I read that title, a straight-faced adaptation of the Bible, with a frankly cynical attempt to make it appeal to kids and teens by using manga-style art, wasn't one of them.
Valiant Entertainment What, seriously?
Virgin Boob Count: 2
Viz Boob Count: 1, but it's for a title called Kurohime, which looks so ridiculously over the top I'll probably need to check it out. I mean, look at it:
 I break out into giggles every time I see it.
Viz also starts the weekly releases of Naruto. The best explanation as to why that I've seen is that they want to burn off all the volumes containing an unpopular storyline, and gimmicking them out this way is the most financially logical way to do it.
Zenescop Entertainment Boob Count: 4.
Magazines Boob Count: 2, both Femme Fatales. A magazine which can never seem to decide if it's a Maxim-clone or a Playboy-clone for nerds.
Books I'm always baffled by half the stuff that gets solicited here. I can only imagine that the section exists to fulfill the obsessive collecting needs of those shut-ins who haven't heard of Amazon. Also, there's a Chronicle Books ad on page 403 for Wonder Woman merchandise which, as far as I can tell, are not solicited in this issue of Previews. Timing people, timing!
International Boob Count: 3, which is surprisingly low for this section.
Trading Cards That's cute...they think there's still a market for trading cards...
Apparel
 "Hey man, what's that supposed to be on your t-shirt?" "Oh, it's the Silver Surfer. But as a zombie. Pretty cool, huh?" "...You don't get out much, do you?"
Toys & Models Boob Count: 6. And how fucking creepy is it that the "toys" section deserves a "Boob Count?"
General hint when going through the toy section: anything that says "sold in case lots only" may as well read "we're forcing retailers to over-buy because the profit margin vs. perceived demand is nonexistent."
 McDonaldland action figures: who buys this shit? No, seriously, I want to know, because if they have that kind of money to waste, they may as well give it to me.
On page 448 there's a "Steve Irwin: Wildlife Adventures Ocean Dive" playset. Which strikes me as being in slightly poor taste...
 That's just hideously off-model. And nightmare inducing. And they want $40 for it.
 There's a $10 difference in price between those two statues. Seems hard to justify to me.
Page 470:
 Okay, setting aside the fact that anyone reading Previews is likely to know what Han Solo looks like, this is what's on page 471:
 Timing people!
And then there's a bunch of over-priced vinyl figurines for hipster kids.
Import Toys and Models Boob Count: 13
 I fucking hate nerds...apparently, in the series this figure is from, she doesn't even have a name, just a title. You know, to make the dehumanization even easier for fetishists.
 It's a base for your Char-piloted Gundams. Sold separately. That's actually kind of brilliant in it's evil.
I want to work up some bile over the "Hostel" action figure on sale on page 504, but honestly? The popularity of torture porn just makes me depressed.
Collectibles & Novelties Is there any good reason why this stuff can't be merged into the two other toy sections? Because I honestly don't understand why Star Wars fake helmets are "toys" but 300 fake helmets are "collectibles."
"World of Faries and Elves Figures"
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