Soon, you will be able to own your own little plastic Jake Gyllenhaal.

Truly, these are the greatest days.

This is the cover of a professionally published comic book.

No joke, I just find it useful sometimes to remind people of what I mean when I say “we get the comics industry we deserve.”

It feels like it’s too easy to make fun of yet more “Coheed and Cambria” comics…
Still, I’d rather see “Tarkus” comics on the shelf.

Dynamite is releasing a new edition of Howard Chaykin’s Black Kiss, curiously not soliciting it in the Adult supplement. It’s not exactly “gay,” but it’s certainly GLBT, which is all I can say without spoiling a plot point. It’s…certainly Chaykin at his Chaykinest.
I liked it.

Yen Press is releasing a Twilight graphic novel, in a manhwa art style.

Because apparently what the property needed was more wispiness.

Nah, too easy.

This is a plush Nazi.

Oh, Japan…

Gayest Thing in Previews this month has to be this three-piece set of Warriors Three busts.

Oh, please, like those aren’t the biggest queens in Asgard. A bear, a twink and a leather daddy. They’re practically archetypal.

DC gets out to a strong start, despite their curious silence about Batwoman disappearing from Detective Comics.

First up, is a long over-due reprint of Howard Cruse’s graphic novel about coming out in the South during the height of the Civil Rights Movement, Stuck Rubber Baby. It’s one of those books that you really should be ashamed of yourself if you don’t own it.

And then Vertigo continues to dip into their back catalog with gay author Robert Rodi’s comic spy series Codename: Knockout, featuring gay side-kick Go-go Fiasco.

It was a fun series, but I don’t recall it being either greatly critically lauded or a big seller, so it’s a surprise to see it back in print. A pleasant surprise, but a surprise all the same.

DC is also soliciting a new line of Dragon Age action figures, but bisexual nun-thief Liliana, bisexual assassin Zevran and clearly gay despite the game creator’s apparently not realizing it warrior Alistair are not included in the first series.

If I were still a retailer, I’d probably be pretty annoyed that Marvel has six titles solicited this month for which there is no creator information available. As a reader, I’m annoyed because one of the titles is Young Avengers, home to Marvel’s only gay male super-hero couple. If the book is being written by a gay-friendly creator, that’s fine. If not, it would be good to know that before the damn thing shows up in shops.
I also can’t help but feel that if Marvel really was trying to do right by retailers, it’s these blind-solicited books that they’d offer variants in exchange for stripped covers.
But, you know, that’s how people acting like real businesspeople would treat their primary customers, and this is comics we’re talking about.

Torchwood is the latest sci-fi show to get a scholarly book of essays devoted to it with Illuminating Torchwood: Essays on Narrative, Character and Sexuality in the BBC Series. It looks a bit drier than these things usually go. As if the authors are actually series about doing a critical analysis of the show. I’ll probably end up picking it up, I’ve already got more books on sexuality in pop culture films and tv shows than anyone not teaching an American Studies course should.

I see Graphitti has finally noticed that nerd-friendly tv show Big Bang Theory regularly features t-shirts only nerds are not embarrassed to be seen in public in, and are advertising this fact in their advertorial section. Sadly, this information is already covered, and more usefully, elsewhere.

I’m going to go ahead and declare this Dr. Horrible animated-style statue the Gayest Thing in Previews for this month, if only because I’m racking my brains and this is the first time I can think of a situation where nerds and toy collectors are going to be putting a little statuette of a gay man in their homes.

So, Bluewater’s selection for Free Comic Book Day this year features new comic stories by S.E. Hinton, who most men my age probably best know as the author of several vaguely homoerotic young adult novels we were forced to read in middle school because God forbid we read a real book and a bio-comic about Lady Gaga.

Thus making this the gayest Free Comic Book Day ever!

Okay, sexy werewolf bust from DC. Even if it is from Fables, which has outlived its welcome, I’m tempted.

Super-deformed tiny Wildcat?

SUPER-DEFORMED TINY WILDCAT!

Marvel is releasing a mini-series titled Breaking Into Comics The Marvel Way. Which is apparently to make a reputation doing successful and critically well-regarded creator-owned, non-superhero work so that you can prove you’re capable of doing work-for-hire crossovers whose lasting impacts will be forgotten in six months when the next wave of crossovers starts.
There, I just saved you eight bucks.

Disney Press is releasing a graphic novel prequel to the upcoming Prince of Persia film.

The photo doesn’t really have much to do with that. I just got an excuse to run it again.

So, IDW has a comic based on the video game Dragon Age coming out.

Dragon Age is a story-based RPG which features gay characters and gives players the option of playing a gay or bisexual hero if they wish to. Because this is the sort of thing gay video game players like, the game has received a mostly positive reception from the gay media.
IDW decided that the best person to write a comic in this setting is Orson Scott Card, a man so homophobic he has advocated treason in the event that gay marriage becomes the law of the land.
So, basically the good people at IDW can just go fuck themselves.

Huh. I thought the adult supplement for Previews had been discontinued.

What? The t-shirt model is an attractive man? Not a woman in a shirt a size too small for her? What the hell? Am I still even reading Previews?

Not the gayest thing in Previews this month.

Wrestler two-packs. I don’t think we can get any gayer than that this month.

Osamu Tezuka’s gay-themed thriller MW is scheduled for a soft-cover release. It’s about a murderous transvestite who plots to destroy the world, and his lover, a former terrorist turned priest, attempting to stop him.
…
It’s actually quite good. But…yeah…

I somehow never noticed that Graphitti Designs makes a “Conner Kent Symbol” t-shirt. I suppose that’s a more marketable title than “Kryptonian Trade.”

Is this a Wonder Woman t-shirt for men that isn’t creepily fetishistic? Is…is this gay marketing? Or did they just forget to note that these are women’s sizes in the solicitation?

The “Brute” doll from the Tonner Sinister Circus line is hands down the winner of the “gayest thing in Previews this month” race.

Although the “shirtless Jacob” from the New Moon line may be a close second. If I didn’t have to deduct points for Mormon indoctrination subtext it probably would have won.

This “pvc statue” set of Shinji and Kaworu from that anime series that isn’t anywhere as deep as its fans want you to think it is is $65. That’s a small price to pay to commemorate how gay sex destroyed the world.

Given how gravity works, that is not a very flattering picture of Logan. And he manscapes down there?

This is slightly better, but does rather suggest a completely rectangular ass.

Given his traditional costume, it’s amazing how few beefcake shots there are of Namor.

And Top Cow wins this month’s award for “Most Shameless Attempt At Customer Confusion To Boost Sales.”

Only in the comics industry is this kind of juxtaposition considered appropriate for a general audience publication.

Amazingly enough, the “Barbra St-R-eisand Barbie” is not the gayest thing in Previews this month. Heck, it’s not even the gayest Barbie of the year.

These two statues share the title of “gayest thing in Previews” this month. There’s just no way to choose between them.

sigh…straight men…

I applaud DC bringing Doc Savage back, if only because comics needs more male characters that habitually run around in easily torn clothing.

That being said, I still don’t see why DC thinks there’s demand for an ongoing series about a character created to parody Cable…

This image is from a comic based on a novel by a man who really fucking hates gay people:

Just sayin’…

And Marvel subtly reminds us that their target audience is het males aged 8-18. Mentally, if not physically, anyway:

REMINDER: the above image is now something published by Disney.

Deadpool, Ryan Reynolds or no, is easily in my top six of “most hated” characters. I think Gambit just barely beats him out to make the premier list. And I think three ongoing Deadpool titles is the surest sign available of the return of bad management practices to the company.

I’ll probably pick that up, for the obvious reason.

So, this is in the ad for yet another new super-hero book by Warren Ellis from Avatar:

You know, if someone were to invent a time machine, for the sole purpose of traveling back and preventing the BBC from giving the go-ahead to Monty Python’s Flying Circus, I’d be hard pressed to say that global culture as a whole would be hurt.

Tim Fish has a new gay romance comic coming out, Trust/Truth, about a relationship on the rocks and a custody fight over a dog. All of Fish’s books have been worth getting, and I doubt that this will be any exception. Plus, doggies.

Also, noted homophobe Trace Adkins has a comic based on his likeness coming out from 12-Gauge Comics, called Luke McBain. So, you know, that’s something to consider if you thought about ordering it.

Vanguard Productions has a book by Irwin Hasen called Loverboy, about the amorous adventures of a short man. Hasen, of course, created Wildcat.
So you’re all obligated to buy it.

Just a reminder:

Nerds ruin everything.

Dark Horse has a line of mini gay porn action figures, which is very progressive of them…

I mean, that’s what these things are, right? Because I fail to see how that’s anything other than a Missionary Position.
Which isn’t that helpful a stance for martial arts.

Ooh, gay-baiting from a Wizard magazine. That’s unexpected! No, really!

At this point I have neither the time or interest in writing up any kind of “con report”, but if I did, it would contain about a thousand words on how all the people who went around the con with “Twilight is gay” or “Twilight sucks” or “Twilight ruined Comic-Con” shirts and signs are top-of-the-line, world class idiots and assholes who should be shamed or beaten, preferably both, and I would much rather be locked into a small room with several hundred screaming fans of abstinent Mormon vampires than be in the same building as one of those anti-Twilight neanderthals.
For the love of all that’s holy, rooms full of cute girls who are into geeky stuff, and you people decide to act like assholes because it’s the “wrong kind” of geeky stuff.

Why is it that when I see this picture:

All I can think of is “Casper died on the way back to his home planet?”

I’m not sure if this is Dammit Japan! or a What the Hell is Wrong with Straight People? entry:

Star Wars: Invasion #3 has what appears to be the first appearance of the posing strap in a Star Wars comic.
Now watch someone link me to the Wookiepedia article about Mandalorian Battle Jock-Straps…

Dark Horse is also selling a Bettie Page coffee mug with disappearing bra action. Oh, straight people…

The closest I’ve ever come to hearing a Fallout Boy song is seeing Pete Wentz’s dick on the internet. Finding out that their songs are about stacked female robots doesn’t make me any more likely to buy an album.

Seriously, this shit is just getting pathetic.

Image has a book coming out called Tiffany’s Epiphany, which appears to be about why we should empathize with bullies because they’re “lonely.” With that kind of deep insight into the psychology of bullying I look forward to the future volumes that explain why picking on the sissy bunnies who aren’t good at sports is okay, because if they didn’t want to be picked on they’d learn to act normal.

They’re outing Millie’s Rival, Chili?

You so rarely see the cleavage-window costume on male characters…

Cutting to the chase, Digital Manga Presents is publishing a comic simply called Boys Love.

I’ve got no interest in fake Tarzan Ka-Zar, but that’s a nice sculpt.

I’m really surprised that Topps is doing gay-porn trading cards.
Hmm? Pro-wrestling? Not gay-porn?
There’s a difference?

Oh, look, it’s an action figure of the character that was outed on a spin-off online series to answer complaints about yet another sci-fi show that had no gay men in the future who was later revealed to be a traitor because, come on, do you honestly think you’re going to see a heroic gay character on an American sci-fi show?

So, I was informed that the latest Previews featured “bear” costumes.

This only goes up to size XL. The manufacturers are apparently unaware that bears will buy any piece of crap with the word “bear” on it. Missed opportunity.

And now, What the Hell is Wrong with Straight Men?

Real women photo-shopped to look like cat-girls, who are famous for appearing in porn parodies of The Brady Bunch. Seriously, guys, what’s up with that?

Dark Horse is publishing a book called The Art of Emily the Strange. Which is funny for all kinds of reasons.

Even before I had a concept for sexuality, I knew that there was something especially appealing about the Warlord comic. I’d be very surprised if I was the only gay comic fan looking forward to the Showcase edition of the first 29 appearances of the character.

Dear Marvel,
The cat is already out of the bag about Wiccan. This just looks vaguely insulting. Would you do a cover with Namor draped seductively over Reed Richards? Didn’t think so.

Herc has far too much clothing on in that pick.
On a related note, I finally picked up the fourth Hercules trade, Love And War. I never expected to see “eromenos” jokes in my super-hero comics, so good on Pak and Van Lente.

How to make sure I don’t buy your comic:

Actually, there are a couple of other “no sales” in that ad, but that’s the big one.

IDW has a new collected edition of Don McGregor’s Detectives Inc.. The add copy is a little lurid, promising “homosexuality, bisexuality, abortion, race relations, and domestic violence” in a somewhat salacious way, but McGregor’s series was one of the first American comics to feature sympathetic gay characters and it attracted a fair amount of angry condemnation from retailers, readers and distributors because of it.

How to insure you never get laid, ever, by anyone of any gender or orientation:

And they call it the “Joker: Salvation” shirt. The hell?

I’m genuinely curious to find out if the sexy transvestite from Final Fight sells as well as other girlie statues from Japan.

I’m glad I don’t work in comics retail anymore, because if I did we might carry these, and then I would know which people of my acquaintance want to buy “sexy Smurfette” figurines. And that’s information I don’t need.

James Robinson’s Justice League series finally gets solicited. This is the series that features both a lesbian and a bisexual man in the cast. Expect the usual pearl-clutching from comic book fans.

Have I mentioned that Brian Bolland tends to draw pretty sexy guys?

Brian Bolland tends to draw pretty sexy guys.

Wonder if we’ll see any “Crotch Panic” complaints over this Anita Blake cover?

I’m of two minds regarding Marvel Divas. On the one hand, it’s by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, who is usually pretty reliable. On the other hand, well, this is the solicitation copy:

Diva (dee-vah), noun: An unusually glamorous and powerful woman. See: Patsy “Hellcat” Walker; Felicia “Black Cat” Hardy; Angelica “Firestar” Jones; and Monica “Photon” Rambeau. What happens when you take four of the Marvel Universe’s most fabulous single girls and throw them together, adding liberal amounts of suds and drama? You get the sassiest, sexiest, soapiest series to come out of the House of Ideas since Millie the Model! Romance, action, ex-boyfriends, and a last page that changes everything! Let your inner divas out with this one, fellas, you won’t regret it!

To be honest, it really sounds like they’re trying to pander to the gays there. But this is the cover:

And that just looks like the usual pander to the man-children there. This wouldn’t be the first time, of course, that Marvel has badly mismarketed a book. And if they are trying to pander to the gays, well, that would mark a vast improvement over past policy.

Not gay related, unless you suspect that something is up with Churchy LaFemme, but I’m excited about The Life And Times Of Walt Kelly. The Pogo drought has been too long.

What the HELL is wrong with straight men?

Trading cards featuring little scraps of lingerie and high heels. Because the makers tell you that real live women once wore them.
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