I can’t think of a better way to kick off a narcissism driven week of looking back on the dubious achievement of maintaining a blog for five years than to look at my five favorite good-looking men and talk briefly about what their looks do to me.

Zak Spears got me through my adolescence. Seriously, what little gay porn I was able to sneak looks at featured hairless little blond boys and that look just never did anything but remind me uncomfortably of the pretty jerks I was going to school with. And then I saw Zak Spears in a video, and here was this gruff, hairy man who got as well as he gave.
I was smitten.

A good looking straight man with a sense of humor who is not only fully aware that he comes off a little gay, but revels in it? Oh, how could I help but be utterly taken in?

Boyishly handsome and funny is a dangerous combination.

I really love the old physique models. The playfulness and naivete of the images, combined with their obvious erotic undertones, is just irresistible. Ed Fury is by far my favorite of the models of that era. Again, it’s the boyish handsomeness, combined with the casual masculinity, although in Ed’s case there’s also a strong sense of humor and fun that comes through. You have to work hard to find a photo of him where he’s not smiling.

sigh…It’s those eyes.

Occasionally my desire to be vocal about what I feel are problematic depictions of gay men in the media comes into conflict with my…baser urges. And by that I mean, I’m sometimes tempted to overlook things I would normally tend to criticize if a television show or movie features a hot guy in a prominent role. It’s that conflict between being a good homosexual and speaking up about something that could potentially encourage homophobia or being a bad homosexual and just perving on the hot guy.

Television, lately, has been giving me many such opportunities. Some shows I can come to an internal accommodation with. My Name is Earl, for example, could be easily criticized for the use of the Kenny character, a hysterics prone, effeminate gay man. But other characters on the show treat Kenny with respect, every other character on the show is cartoonish in some way, and Kenny’s relationship with ex-cop Stuart is played very sweetly by both Gregg Binkley and Mike O’Malley, that I tend to forgive the queenier moments the writers give Kenny. (Hell, I think Kenny and Stuart are one of the very few gay couples on television that actually appear to have a sex life, so that’s worth a few points anyway.)

More recently, two new show launches have brought up this trend once again. Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, for example, wants to be a broad farce, but is somewhat constrained by how naughty it can be by the standards people over at Comedy Central. A co-production with the BBC, it’s possible that the overall quality of the show might be improved by seeing it in the original, unedited form, but as it stands now it’s the sort of show that manages only one, maybe one-half of a good joke for every dozen groaners it throws out there. And most of those good jokes are, frankly, not so good, and are saved primarily through the delivery of the actors.

It’s the character of Bruce that I feel that I should be upset about, and to tell the truth, if the show were better, I probably would be. Marques Ray plays the character as chirpily upbeat, so it’s hard to actually dislike Bruce, but he’s also played as a sex-obsessed, shallow stereotype. The character’s introduction is even part of an extended “prison sex” joke, and the show’s promotional materials have referred to the character as a “queen.” But to complain about Bruce is to miss the larger picture, that no character on the show comes off in a particularly positive light and it’s a much deeper problem that, at the end of the day, the show simply isn’t very funny. To single out the character of Bruce for criticism feels like laughing at the guy who just fell and broke his arm.

By coincidence, another show that debuted the same night as Krod Mandoon is the cop-drama Southland. At first glance, it’s your typical cop ensemble, and it owes much to Homicide, including a distracting and intrusive over-use of musical cues. But it’s a very well-acted cop ensemble show, and Michael Cudlitz’s Officer John Cooper is particularly note-worthy because with this character we’re actually seeing something quite revolutionary for American television: a gay character who gets to be the hard-nosed cynic, and a bit of a macho bad-ass. It’s not clear, after two episodes, how much of Cooper’s personal life is know to the other officers, and the revelation of the character’s sexuality, a last-minute pan-out in the premiere episode to show him in a gay bar, was shot in such a way as to suggest that his sexuality is meant to be a secret or somehow “shocking” to the audience, but it’s strongly refreshing to have a gay character who doesn’t fall into any of the usual paradigms for gay characters on television. He’s not the butt of an easy joke and he’s not there to be a sexless neuter solving all the straight people’s problems for them.

Lest you think there’s not a “Bad Homosexual” angle here, because when word got out that Cudlitz was playing a gay character, there were multiple reactions in the gay-blog world along the lines of “why couldn’t the hot one be gay?” Which floored me, for two reasons. First of all, for gay men to be judging the merit of a gay character based purely on the character’s attractiveness pretty much confirms some of the worst stereotypes of the superficiality of gay men. And secondly, and most importantly, Cudlitz is most definitely the “hot one.” His partner on the show is cute enough, but he’s a child, while Cudlitz is both ruggedly handsome and mature.

Oh, who am I kidding…if Krod Mandoon keeps giving us shirtless Sean Maguire, I’ll keep watching…

Cowboys and their horses…funny, how what seemed so innocent in the fifties sounds like a set-up for a “this is a fetish for somebody” joke today.

Renaissance man and gay porn icon Jack Wrangler died today of complications from lung disease. He was truly amongst the greats, bringing a sense of humor, masculinity and versatility to his erotic roles, in addition to his talents as an actor and director. Those wishing to learn more about his fascinating history should seek out the documentary Wrangler: Anatomy of an Icon

Another shot of Jack, in all his glory, is below the cut.
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As some of you may be aware, an incomplete rough-cut of the forthcoming X-Men Origins: Wolverine film made it’s way onto the internet last week. I didn’t bother to try to find a copy for myself, because honestly, Ryan Reynolds’ arms are worth paying full price to see on the big screen. Plus, having seen incomplete cuts of films before, I know that they’re very hard to watch. I didn’t want an incomplete film with no special effects to prejudice me against what looks like the most romantic male/male love story to come from Hollywood in years.

Which didn’t stop me from reading plot summations from those who did potentially violate copyright laws by downloading it.

Hey, I’m only human. And besides, I wanted to know if I was right about how very, very gay the film looks.
Well…

Plus, I guess we see Hugh Jackman’s naked ass in this film. That’s almost an argument in favor of buying a Blu-Ray player right there.

So, it may be hard to believe, but there’s a remote possibility that X-Men Origins: Wolverine may, in fact, not end up being the gayest film ever made that doesn’t actually star either Jason Statham or Russell Crowe.

Shocking, I know.

And it’s all because Gay America’s Favorite Puppy-Dog-Eyes Actor has a new action movie coming out that requires him to be shirtless for extended periods…

I think in the end Wolverine is going to edge out Prince of Persia in the Unintentional Homoeroticism Stakes because POP is essentially about Jake Gyllenhaal looking as cubish as possible, while X-MO:W features Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber and Ryan Reynolds in hairy, shirtless, sweaty male-bonding and subtext dripping innuendo for two hours.

Of course, were the video-game movie to feature a co-star, it might be a different story:

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