Under the weather. You will have to amuse yourselves with this picture of James Roday dressed as a cowboy:

The Batman of Zur-En-Arrh. Awesome, awesome costume.

I didn’t see much in the way of Booth Boys, but these guys almost make me want to see the Prisoner remake.

Obligatory Superman.

Bear Han. Now there’s an untapped market for cross-over merchandise.

It started to become apparent that I was just taking pictures of guys with nice chests.

Twelve inches of Wildcat. Not for sale. Dammit.

I’m proud to say that this is the only non-sexy-Bear Han Star Wars related picture I took. And why not? Any fool can dress up like a space Nazi. It takes class to dress up like a Mandalorian pimp.

This guy wore entirely the wrong costume to be copping a ‘tude about getting his picture taken.

Context

So, by now most people have heard that an actor was finally cast to play Hal Jordan in a Green Lantern movie. Apart from a few Deadpool fans weeping over how they’ve been betrayed, most people even seem pleased with the choice of Ryan Reynolds. Only for now, of course. This is a comic book movie, and this pleasent feeling of good will is only the prelude to the tidal wave of fan entitlement and nerd rage we have to look forward to. Reynolds is a smart choice, as well. He’s done action roles before, and generated a phenomenal amount of goodwill for his role in Wolverine, plus the success of The Proposal indicates that he can carry a film and appeals to women. The only thing that I find slightly puzzling was the weird release of two other actor’s names as contenders for the role. Bradley Cooper would have been just fine. He’s a good, under-rated actor, but The Hangover means he’s probably going to be offered a lot of “dude” comedies for a little while. Which is a shame, as he does drama very well. If for no other reason, you should see <cite>My Little Eye</cite> for his delivery of one incredibly unsettling line. I can only conclude that the notion of Justin Timberlake was an elaborate practical joke that no one got.

But Reynolds…yeah, Reynolds will work. People don’t often see Hal as a guy capable of getting a joke, but forget that he’s an egotist and smarmy as hell. Reynolds can do that beautifully, and has in most of his comedic roles. Hell, it’s practically type-casting. Plus, given that Reynolds has a not inconsiderable gay following, and that all films about pilots eventually feature blatant homoerotic antics (though why this is so is a mystery for the ages), if there are any concerns about Reynolds in the role, there’s a simple and obvious solution: pander like mad.

• Include at least one scene of Hal and the other pilots taking long, soapy communal showers. In slow motion.
• Coast City is either next to San Diego, Los Angeles, or San Francisco. Of those three, San Diego makes the most logistical sense. It’s also pretty damn gay, with a thriving porn scene. Two and two, guys…
• Emphasize over and over again how there’s nothing remotely symbolic about a bunch of different ring-wearing paramilitary organizations organized along the lines of the colors of a rainbow at all.
• Mogo? Obviously a drag queen.
• Since the creators of the comic book can’t seem to conceive of a way to draw that ridiculous Star Sapphire costume on a male character–despite the fact that outfits for men that look just like it actually exist–go ahead and throw a male Star Sapphire into the film. The way the tail wags the dog with super-hero movies and comic books, we’ll either get a guy into the Lavender Corps or Star Sapphire into a decent costume.

Sergeant Benton
Granted, Captain Yates might have been an easier pull, but Benton’s only significant relationship with a woman was taking his little sister out dancing. Plus, it’s hard to go wrong with a man in uniform.

Harry Sullivan
Yes, he’s That Guy. His attitude towards woman hovers right on that line between condescension and chauvinism. Which all just suggests a bit of over-compensation for something, doesn’t it?

Ian Chesterton
I hate the word “adorkable”, but Ian was geek-chic hotness before the 10th Doctor was a gleam in Rassilon’s eye. Plus, you know Barbara would never put out, so there’s a lot of pent up frustration bundled into those suits.

Captain Jack Harkness
Yeah, you’d probably need a full-body condom, given that he’s slept with half-the galaxy, but come on…who wouldn’t?

Steven Taylor
The best thing about trying to get Steven’s clothes off? You don’t have to look at that damn shirt.

Companions and Allies is one of the better Doctor Who guide-books I’ve come across. Even if Steve Tribe thinks Jackson Lake deserves as many pages of discussion as Jaime or the Brigadier.

I can’t think of a better way to kick off a narcissism driven week of looking back on the dubious achievement of maintaining a blog for five years than to look at my five favorite good-looking men and talk briefly about what their looks do to me.

Zak Spears got me through my adolescence. Seriously, what little gay porn I was able to sneak looks at featured hairless little blond boys and that look just never did anything but remind me uncomfortably of the pretty jerks I was going to school with. And then I saw Zak Spears in a video, and here was this gruff, hairy man who got as well as he gave.
I was smitten.

A good looking straight man with a sense of humor who is not only fully aware that he comes off a little gay, but revels in it? Oh, how could I help but be utterly taken in?

Boyishly handsome and funny is a dangerous combination.

I really love the old physique models. The playfulness and naivete of the images, combined with their obvious erotic undertones, is just irresistible. Ed Fury is by far my favorite of the models of that era. Again, it’s the boyish handsomeness, combined with the casual masculinity, although in Ed’s case there’s also a strong sense of humor and fun that comes through. You have to work hard to find a photo of him where he’s not smiling.

sigh…It’s those eyes.

Occasionally my desire to be vocal about what I feel are problematic depictions of gay men in the media comes into conflict with my…baser urges. And by that I mean, I’m sometimes tempted to overlook things I would normally tend to criticize if a television show or movie features a hot guy in a prominent role. It’s that conflict between being a good homosexual and speaking up about something that could potentially encourage homophobia or being a bad homosexual and just perving on the hot guy.

Television, lately, has been giving me many such opportunities. Some shows I can come to an internal accommodation with. My Name is Earl, for example, could be easily criticized for the use of the Kenny character, a hysterics prone, effeminate gay man. But other characters on the show treat Kenny with respect, every other character on the show is cartoonish in some way, and Kenny’s relationship with ex-cop Stuart is played very sweetly by both Gregg Binkley and Mike O’Malley, that I tend to forgive the queenier moments the writers give Kenny. (Hell, I think Kenny and Stuart are one of the very few gay couples on television that actually appear to have a sex life, so that’s worth a few points anyway.)

More recently, two new show launches have brought up this trend once again. Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, for example, wants to be a broad farce, but is somewhat constrained by how naughty it can be by the standards people over at Comedy Central. A co-production with the BBC, it’s possible that the overall quality of the show might be improved by seeing it in the original, unedited form, but as it stands now it’s the sort of show that manages only one, maybe one-half of a good joke for every dozen groaners it throws out there. And most of those good jokes are, frankly, not so good, and are saved primarily through the delivery of the actors.

It’s the character of Bruce that I feel that I should be upset about, and to tell the truth, if the show were better, I probably would be. Marques Ray plays the character as chirpily upbeat, so it’s hard to actually dislike Bruce, but he’s also played as a sex-obsessed, shallow stereotype. The character’s introduction is even part of an extended “prison sex” joke, and the show’s promotional materials have referred to the character as a “queen.” But to complain about Bruce is to miss the larger picture, that no character on the show comes off in a particularly positive light and it’s a much deeper problem that, at the end of the day, the show simply isn’t very funny. To single out the character of Bruce for criticism feels like laughing at the guy who just fell and broke his arm.

By coincidence, another show that debuted the same night as Krod Mandoon is the cop-drama Southland. At first glance, it’s your typical cop ensemble, and it owes much to Homicide, including a distracting and intrusive over-use of musical cues. But it’s a very well-acted cop ensemble show, and Michael Cudlitz’s Officer John Cooper is particularly note-worthy because with this character we’re actually seeing something quite revolutionary for American television: a gay character who gets to be the hard-nosed cynic, and a bit of a macho bad-ass. It’s not clear, after two episodes, how much of Cooper’s personal life is know to the other officers, and the revelation of the character’s sexuality, a last-minute pan-out in the premiere episode to show him in a gay bar, was shot in such a way as to suggest that his sexuality is meant to be a secret or somehow “shocking” to the audience, but it’s strongly refreshing to have a gay character who doesn’t fall into any of the usual paradigms for gay characters on television. He’s not the butt of an easy joke and he’s not there to be a sexless neuter solving all the straight people’s problems for them.

Lest you think there’s not a “Bad Homosexual” angle here, because when word got out that Cudlitz was playing a gay character, there were multiple reactions in the gay-blog world along the lines of “why couldn’t the hot one be gay?” Which floored me, for two reasons. First of all, for gay men to be judging the merit of a gay character based purely on the character’s attractiveness pretty much confirms some of the worst stereotypes of the superficiality of gay men. And secondly, and most importantly, Cudlitz is most definitely the “hot one.” His partner on the show is cute enough, but he’s a child, while Cudlitz is both ruggedly handsome and mature.

Oh, who am I kidding…if Krod Mandoon keeps giving us shirtless Sean Maguire, I’ll keep watching…