In 1986, conservatives were playing the “we’re the real oppressed minority here” already.

Thirty years ago, the ideologies of right-wing militia groups were so far out of the mainstream of political thought that square, stodgy old DC (DC!) found them an acceptable target of mockery.

Today, people with the same ideologies are taken seriously as candidates for the Presidency…

*sigh*…

New technology allows for incredibly detailed pictures of animal foetuses. This is a real scientific breakthrough. The potential medical applications of this imaging technique are really quite impressive.

Naturally, the comments section rapidly devolves into a forum for anti-choice propaganda.

Likewise, this IMDB thread, “Was Don Knotts a Christian?”. Because the man’s personal religious beliefs are of course the most important things to discuss in a forum devoted to his film and television work…

Why, it’s almost enough to make comics message boards seem like bastions of sane, polite and rational discourse.

(hat-tip to Dave Fiore for the Don Knotts link)

I can’t watch his show for more than ten minutes at a time. Honestly, I can only take his “isn’t Bill O’Reilly a dick” one-note joke for about that long. Still, when people who have apparently never watched his show, or watched his show and didn’t get that the joke was on them, invite him to give a speech in front of the President, comedy gold ensues:

The greatest thing about this man is he’s steady, you know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change, this man’s beliefs never will. And as [pauses] excited as I am [turns to president] to be with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media is destroying America, with the exception of Fox News. Fox News gives you both sides of every story. The president’s side and the vice president’s side. But the rest of you, what are you thinking reporting on NSA wire tapping, or secret prisons in Eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason, they’re super depressing. And if that’s your goal, well, misery accomplished.

Over the last 5 years you people were so good. Over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didnÂ’t want to know and you had the courtesy not to tell us. Those were good times, as far as we knew. But listen let’s review the rules, here’s how it works. The president makes decisions, he’s the decider, the press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put it through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again, make love to your wife! Write that novel you got kicking around in your head; you know the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration: you know, fiction!

Of course in that “non-liberal bias” reality, it never happened.
I somehow doubt Colbert is going to be booked for very more speaking engagements anytime soon.

FCC Chairman Kevin Martin on fire safety:

“You can always make sure to keep flammable materials away from open flames, but why should you have to?”

FCC Chairman Kevin Martin on child safety:

“You can always tell your children not to play in the street or accept rides in vans with darkened windows, but why should you have to?”

FCC Chairman Kevin Martin on consumer debt:

“You can always pay your bills on time and consolidate loans at a lower interest rate, but why should you have to?”

FCC Chairman Kevin Martin on safe driving:

“You can always obey the speed limit and all posted traffic regulations, but why should you have to?”

FCC Chairman Kevin Martin on dressing for a job interview:

“You could always make sure that your clothing is clean and professional looking, but why should you have to?”

FCC Chairman Kevin Martin on protecting your computer:

“You could always make sure to regularly run a virus scan and avoid downloading attachments with executable files, but why should you have to?”

FCC Chairman Kevin Martin on house-painting:

“You could always start at the top of the building and work your way down, and finish your work with a second coat of clear varnish, but why should you have to?”

FCC Chairman Kevin Martin on sex and violence on satellite and cable television:

“You can always turn the television off and, of course, block the channels you don’t want, but why should you have to?”