Uhm, at least The Comedian looks okay. Ish.

I’ve held off on this one as long as I can, but it must be said. Brace yourselves, an unnecessarily cynical comment is incoming. Ready?

Marvel to publish Mary-Sue porn comics.

Don’t look at me like that! I can’t help recognizing them for what they are!

If Comic Book News Was Written Truthfully

Marvel Editorial Department Staffed By Chimps; Pushes Major Cross-Over Event and All Tie-Ins Back One to Two Months

Well, it’s either the chimps, or Hank Hall really wasn’t supposed to be Iron Man…

Scapegoat found for next comic-to-film failure.

Investors announce “we hate making money,” launch new comic company.

Brian Bendis and Frank Cho to further deform the definition of the word “monthly.”

Comic book publisher over-pays for licensed property of marginal appeal.

Marvel desperate to replace EIC.

Dirty, filthy comics!

Mainstream press attempts to place comic book convention into larger context. Concludes “nerds will be there, and people will try to sell them things.”

Fanboys looking forward to licking Wonder Woman

Television show to have comic book tie-in. Producers have clearly never had comic distribution methods and sales figures explained to them.

Attractive woman flatters nerds in effort to get their money.

Film-makers hope to impress sweaty man-children.

Creator with best work behind him to make film, misunderstand source material.

Film casting rumor almost certain to become basis of homophobic jokes.

(with apologies to Mr. Dan Kelly)

NRAMA: Noticeably absent (and for some time) is a female creator in that group. Big picture wise, why hasn’t a women creator made it into the tight circle of Marvel creators?

JQ: Because currently there aren’t any female writers working on any of our major titles. That said there are female editors at the summit.

I think that’s right up there with “we can’t publish comics with gay leads without making them adults only.”

Watchmen film gets new director. Again.

Release date for Iron Man set. No word yet on cast, script…but they have a release date, which I’m sure they will firmly commit too.

Why is it that the only people who seem to care whether or not a comic is “accessible to new readers” are people who have been reading comic books for twenty years or more?

Yes, Superman Returns is provoking the same reaction. It’s eerie.

Ghost Rider on the other hand looks like a fun and clever satire of super-hero films.

What do you mean by “it’s not meant to be a comedy?”

Dave Sim to read the Bible to help the poor.

Apparently poverty is caused by the femi-homo conspiracy to emasculate heterosexual men. Who knew?

“Booth Babes” at E3 told to cover up.

I’m sure that this is a sign of the video-game industry maturing and beginning to recognize that focusing on the physical attributes only of women is demeaning to both men and women.

And not, you know, an attempt to forestall criticism in the midst of a political climate that’s blaming video games for juvenile deliquincy and violence against women, in a remarkably eerie parallel of the scapegoating the comics industry received in the fifties and the music industry in the eighties.

Surely not.