This is what we call a “Subtext? What Subtext?” moment.

Indeed, Mr. Andrews. Indeed.

Go ahead, guess which decade this came out in.

Wha? Adults…listening to the devil’s music?

“Yes, we’ll be instituting standardized tests, a score-based grading system, and doing away with the daily mandatory prayer hour. And Chuck can ride the bus now!”

And then Archie convinces Mr. Lodge to use his clout to get Grundy and the Bee back into their positions, canceling their first vacations in, well, ever.

Special Bonus:

Betty compares a temporary change to corruption? Is she…a comics reader?

You know how, from time to time, I make mention of how comics fans hate change, even the illusion of it, even the most superficial of changes?

Archie Comics plans to experiment with a more realistic art style.

Comic fans, most of whom probably haven’t even read an Archie comic since their age was in the single digits, go a bit weird about it.

IS NOTHING SACRED??

now the question is will they take the next step and have the gang in real teenage situations like teen pregnancy, drugs, divorced parents, etc. it doesnt have to be serious all the time, it could be funny in an OC kind of way

I already got you covered there.

WHY ARE YOU RAPING MY CHILDHOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, that’s the kind of reasoned discourse I expect from comic fans!

I have two daughters, one who will be reading soon (she already has a dozen superheroes down cold – Dad’s been working O.T.!)
They will NEVER see this atrocity.
Good God, what goes through people’s heads?

Yes, because God forbid your kids like something you don’t…

Q: How do we know Big Moose is a virgin?
A: If he wasn’t, Midge would have a pair of bowed legs the likes of which haven’t been seen since the Fleisher Brothers and Ub Iwerks were doing cartoons!

So…Moose is a comic fan?

Is it just me, or does Veronica look like a bull dyke on at the example page?

Y’know, I could have made a comment about the acceptance of casual homophobia amongst comic fans in response to this but, nah, too easy.

I almost thought That Archie comics would be the last place that I would find Changes like this, but now that it about to occur I’m scared.
I always thought that Archie’s comics were scaraed cows of comics, never changing the look of the characters but always kept with the current times. TO see the comics like this may be step forward into trying to gain new readers by looking like a current comic book series, but it also a mistake due to the loyal fans of the old Archie style.
I’ll give this a chance, althought it may seem a bit creepy at first but maybe it a sign that changes. Ones that may have to be made in order for a business to continue, but the scarfices made for the changes may live on forever in the minds of those responsible.

It’s…it’s just a change in art style, man! Suck it up!

And, of course, the inevitable:

I’d still totally do Betty.

Wh…what is the snarky woman leaning up against?

Are those Margie’s parents, or her friends? The signifiers, they are not clear!

Wait…the bitchy gal is actually a guy named Billy?
Maybe the slogan should be “Free Stuff So Good Even Trannies Like It!”

Good thing there isn’t any unintentionally offensive material on that cover.

What’s the terrible secret of Archie’s closet?

Does it contain the truth about his relationship with Jughead?

Does it contain his personal anxieties made manifest?

Is it a doorway into the brain of a minor celebrity?

Is he growing “wacky weed” in there?

Or did he just stuff it full of junk in lieu of actually cleaning his room, and he doesn’t want Veronica to be buried comically under a load of rubbish, thus guaranteeing he’ll never get any play from the rich girl ever again and he’ll have to settle for middle-class Betty Cooper?

I’m a bit lethargic the last couple of days. I plan on having some…uniquely appropriate to this site Halloween entries up in the next day or two. But, in the meantime…

Sometime I post just for the cheap joke:

Sometimes I post to feed your sick and dirty fetishes:

The first ten minutes of the live-action Death Note film that all the cool kids are talking about:

Internet jerks spoiled the ending of volume seven for me. The jerks. But in the process I discovered that there was some controversy over the ending of the series. An ending which was broadly telegraphed as early as the first volume of the series. But I guess an unwillingness to engage in careful reading or recognize foreshadowing isn’t limited to American comics fans.

Aw, go listen to some Fall Out Boy, you big cry-baby!

When you get right down to it, there’s just something…unwholesome about Riverdale.

You know what I want to see? A revival of Life with Archie. I want to see a dramatic, real-world inspired Archie comic. But not like the old Life with Archie, where the idea of the “real-world” was “Archie discovers a spy ring” or “Betty and Veronica are kidnapped by burglars” or “Jughead gets pneumonia.”

No, this is the Life with Archie I want to see:

#1: Ronnie’s in trouble! But how will she get to the Women’s Clinic for that delicate procedure when her father has promised to shut it down in his campaign for the Republican primary?

#2: They used to make fun of him for being a nerd, but not any more! Look out world, ’cause Dilton’s got a gun!

#3: For years the gang has wondered why Jughead can eat so much and never gain any weight. And they’re horrified when they learn the truth. This month: a shocking glimpse into the world of eating disorders.

#4: The Riverdale High Athletic program is being investigated by the Feds! Chuck betting on the games? Moose on steroids? How could Mr. Weatherbee let this happen on his watch. Or has he been taking a cut of Chuck’s action all along?

#5: Archie and his gals and pals are shocked to learn a deep, dark secret about their favorite teacher. Mrs. Grundy used to be Mr. Grundy!

#6: Archie can’t figure out why Betty, his soft-ball playing, car repairing gal-pal doesn’t want to go “all the way” with him. Could it be Betty is more interested in Midge?

#7: The secrets of Reggie’s success with the ladies is made horrifyingly clear. One word: Roofies!

#8: Sabrina just wants to be like all the other kids. But Mr. Lodge doesn’t want a witch corrupting the school with her Satanic religion. Can they work out a compromise, or will it all end in tragedy?

#9: Mr. Lodge is indicted! His company over-charged the government for rebuilding projects in Iraq and he illegally moved money out of his employee’s pension fund! Will being a rich white businessman be enough to get him off with a slap on the wrist?

#10: Josie’s rock-and-roll lifestyle finally catches up to her. A cautionary tale about fame, drugs and alcohol in “Requiem for a Pussycat.”