Man of the Moment


Sean William Scott


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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Arsenic and LOL Lace 















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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Short Subjects 

Since people seem to be in a mood to analyse Marvel lately: the only "mainstream" Marvel U "post Civil War" comics I was getting were New New Warriors and New Order (which is a cheap and easy joke, but hey, so's your Mom). And I'm not getting them anymore. They're perfectly serviceable comics, but I'm just not interested in this "going nowhere slowly" between crossovers approach so many of Marvel's titles seem to have. Now there's nothing wrong with going nowhere slowly, but it's so much better to be going nowhere fast, you know?

I'm also not particularly interested in the current state of the Marvel universe. DC, for all it's flaws, has managed to hold my interest, and that's partly because the heroes still act like good guys and the villains are clearly identifiable as bad guys. You can't quite make those distinctions at Marvel anymore. And it doesn't help that the consequences of Marvel's big events don't really get dealt with because the stage has to be cleared for the next big event. Say what you will about Countdown and its cross-overs, but you can't really argue that DC isn't thoroughly exploring the consequences of the last few event titles in those books. At Marvel they almost seem to be burying the problems created by their events under the weight of new events. "Oh, we made Iron Man a fascist, but we can't deal with that now, the Hulk's attacking. Ooops, we made the Hulk a mass-murderer, but we can't deal with that now, the Skrulls are invading. Ah, we've established that Wolverine is actually a hyper-evolved stoat and not a mutant, but we can't deal with that now because Namor has the Serpent Crown and is trying to flood the surface world..."




Say you're an American publisher. And say you have the rights to publish, in America, newer and older licensed comics that are successful outside the US, but haven't really sold well in the US for a couple of decades.
And say that, about ten to fifteen years ago, there was an animated series based on the comics you have a license to. An animated series that did several loose adaptations of some of the better known comics in the series. And let's say that the animated series in question was very successful and is largely credited with revitalizing an area of the animation industry that had become moribund.
It would seem like a no-brainer to do a book collecting the best stories that inspired the series, and to slap the logo of the series all over the book, right?
So why would you go and put an introduction in the book that spends a good deal of time blasting the quality of the show?

Which is what Gemstone did with their Carl Barks' Greatest Ducktales Stories books.
Oh, comics industry...you so stupid...




Stephen Sadowski's pencils for Superpowers #0 are very nice, but with him only drawing the preview book, I'm not sure I'm interested. I REALLY did not like Justice, and the "nostalgia for grandpa's childhood" vibe is strong on this project.
Which means I'm probably holding out for Avengers/Invaders. YES! I'm a hypocrite! I complain about Marvel than look forward to one of their projects!




You know what's fun? Video games.

It's like a virtual pet, only it's Daffy Duck, and the idea is to torture him as much as possible.


It's an old-school "point and click" puzzle game, only on your console. And since it's on the Wii, you have to mime out using the object with the remote. It makes you look like a complete tool, so I recommend playing with the blinds drawn.




Lars and the Real Girl was an excellent, excellent film, very sweet and heartfelt, with just enough sadness and darkness underneath it to give it some real emotional heft.




I now realise that the problem with yesterday's post was that I held back all the fun for myself...
Here you can write your own caption for Dennis.
And here you can write all your own dialog.
If you're a stickler for lettering accuracy, I find "Jester" approximates Ketcham-style letters decently.

Though, try as I might, I can't make this into a wholesome scene:




Context? Uhm, to be honest, it doesn't help...

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Monday, October 29, 2007

Sub--No, No, Not Even I Can Go There... 



What say you, Mr. Mitchell in drag?

Mr. Mitchell does not approve!

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Friday, October 26, 2007

Friday Night Fights: How Straight People Flirt Edition 






Every brutal hit

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Thursday, October 25, 2007

Three Henry Images 

Words of wisdom from fake Mrs. Grundy


The vicious cruelty of teenage girls


"We swear, this panel was not just an excuse to draw teenage girls 'flashing' the reader!"

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Wisdom of Scamp 




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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Sexy Halloween Costumes 

Sexy Cowboy

I think it's the combination of chaps and fringe that really sells this look.

Sexy Cop

Oddly, not the only "shiny fake vinyl" cop costume I spotted.

Sexy Devil

Yes, the Prince of Darkness wears frilly lace. It's those gay indicators that really sell the evil.

Sexy Disco Dancer

It's amazing they found purple leopards...

Sexy Highlander

Men in dresses=sexy, every time.

Sexy Hippie

Or, I suppose this could be Sexy Ironically Postmodern College Student. It depends on whether or not he stinks of patchouli.

Sexy Convict

And he's a bargain, at only eight cigarettes a night!

Sexy Knife Thrower

It's not the most practical costume...I imagine wearing this involves lots of walking into doors.

Sexy Peasant

Man, he can vassal my serf any day!

Sexy Pimp

Hey, the racial and sexual politics of the 'pimp' costumes are great fodder for deep intellectual discussions of the issues they raise, and that turns my crank.

Sexy Victorian Serial Killer

It's the frills. Gotta be.

Sexy Pirate

To repeat a point that needs repeating from time to time: what, exactly, did people think cabin boys were for?

Sexy Roman

See? Skirts. It works.

Sexy Vampire

I think it's the casual nature of this ensemble that sells it. I mean, he's going to rip out your throat and drink your blood, but he's going to be relaxed about it...it's not a 'dressy' event.

Sexy Werewolf

I'm the only one who finds werewolves sexy, aren't I?

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Monday, October 22, 2007

Screaming Gangsters 





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Sunday, October 21, 2007

Archie Free Zone 

So, how disgusted am I by this?

I'm never spending any money on Archie comics again.

You'll never see another Archie themed post here.

Archie Comics wants to pretend that Dan DeCarlo didn't exist? Okay, fine, I'll pretend Archie Comics doesn't exist.

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Dumbledore Doesn't Matter 

I was going to make a post about how little J.K. Rowling "outing" Dumbledore matters, but Kalinara beat me to the punch and said just about everything I was inclined to say anyway. This was not a "brave" move on her part. Waiting until after the character has been killed off, and after the book series is complete, to throw out, as an after-thought, "oh yeah, and Dumbledore was gay" is actually kind of craven. It suggests to me that, mindful of the occasional "why are there no gay characters in the Harry Potter books" complaints she gets, she decided to throw the queers a bone and let them have Dumbledore. So, let's not rush to congratulate Rowling for her bravery or her commitment to diversity. She had seven books in which to make the barest suggestion that Dumbledore was gay, and couldn't be bothered to.

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Friday, October 19, 2007

Step By Step 

How Heterosexuals Flirt, from Falling in Love #135:



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Thursday, October 18, 2007

Your Morning Nightmare Fuel 

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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Time for...Love? 

Time for Love makes a lot of promises...


Meet Paula. Paula's picky.

Notice the gleeful looks on her friend's faces. They're taking joy in both the anticipation of Paula getting what's coming to her and in her cruel dismissal of genetically inferior suitors.

Paula is also a bit of a tease, showing off her athletic prowess for men she intends to reject.

"Adolph?" In 1969? Let's assume no meaning is intended in that, shall we?

Paula travels to the big city in search of more men to humiliate. Where she runs into trouble...

"I dunno whether I'd want him or the truck to hit me!" Oh, him definitely. I mean, the worst that happens is you fall, get your outfit dirty, maybe a skinned knee...as opposed to being brutally mangled and killed if the truck hits you.
Christ, seriously, some people...

Paula admires brute force.


Paula has peculiar fantasies.


Paula invites her hunky, red-haired football player over for a quiet evening of sitting around her living room not looking at each other.

You can just feel the sexual tension oozing off them, can't you?

Paula's father indulges in a bit of gay-baiting.


Paula discovers a love for seeing men beat the crap out of each other.


Hey, more gay-baiting!

Yes, because there's no way you'd ever catch a manly football player doing something as sissy as dancing ballet.

Who published this piece of shit anyway?

Oh.
Well, that explains everything.

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Slightly Miffed Comic News 

Marvel needs to quit pulling this shit:

INCREDIBLE XXXX #113 (Note: Not Actual Title)
Written by Greg Pak & FRED VAN LENTE
Penciled by Khoi Pham
Cover by Art Adams
CLASSIFIED
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99
Order Using This Code: OCT072102
FOC – 12/27/2007, On-Sale – 1/16/2008

So, they expect retailers to place orders without knowing the contents or the actual title. All to keep "spoilers" from being leaked onto the internet.
Not working in comics retail anymore, I really wish this sort of nonsense wouldn't annoy me anymore, and yet it does.

Also, what's the best way for a comic publisher to make me go from "somewhat interested" to "not at all interested" in an upcoming title?
Replace decent writer Tony Bedard with hack typist Chuck Dixon. That Dixon is a right-wing crank and homophobe is just icing on the cake, really.
So, bets on Grace and Thunder? I've got "quietly written out of the book" at 5/2 against "suddenly hetero."

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Monday, October 15, 2007

Image Potporrui 


Judy's hypnotic gaze lulls her prey into a slumber which allows her to scalp them and wear their hair as her own.


Gaze upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!


*snerk*...beaver...


The world would be a better place if we all stopped to ask ourselves that question before making major decisions.

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Friday, October 12, 2007

Friday Night Fights 



You can also probably file the whole "bear fighting duck" thing under "this is a fetish for somebody."

Every beat-down

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Reason #427 

Why I don't like Spider-Man...

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Thursday, October 11, 2007

Subtext? What Subtext? 



Check those eyelines...those aren't your saws Jim is admiring, Bob.
Timmy's about to get quite the education about sexual repression in males in Eisenhower-era suburbia...

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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Stuffy-Stuff 

Stuff I Will Buy, Won't Buy, And Wonder Why Anyone Buys This Week

APPLESEED HYPERNOTES TP: Really? Shirow still has an audience?
CAPTAIN CARROT AND THE FINAL ARK #1 (OF 3): I bought the most recent issue of Alter Ego to read more about the history and creation of the original series...not to see Roy Thomas bitterly complaining about not being asked to write this new series.
Which, honestly, is why I rarely buy Alter Ego...
PRESENTS VOL 1 (MR): I used to not really care for this old-school horror manga style, but it's grown on me. The sheer bizarreness of the cartoony artwork somehow makes the end result in more horrific.
AMAZING SPIDER-GIRL ZOMBIE VAR #13: *sigh*
GRIMM FAIRY TALES #17 (MR)
GRIMM FAIRY TALES ANNUAL #1 (MR)
GRIMM FAIRY TALES VOL 2 TP (MR): I need to stop looking at T&A comics and thinking to myself "that'll never last. No one's taste is that bad." I know better...
MUHYO ROJIS BUREAU SUPER INVEST VOL 1 TP: I'm buying this blind because the concept sounded like the kind of "messed up" I dig in manga.
PS238 #26: Pete will be happy.
REBORN VOL 5 GN: I'll be happy.
GREYS ANATOMY MAGAZINE #5: Fandom must be stopped...




The topic of the impact of movie versions on comic sales came up in conversation again today. I know Mike is curious/dreading to see if the trend evidenced by Hellboy, Sin City, 300, From Hell, Constantine, V for Vendetta, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, etc. holds true for Watchmen. And I got to thinking of Alan Moore and his desire to distance himself from the film versions of his comic work. It occured to me, that honestly, Moore should be getting out there and championing the creation of a Watchmen movie. Because a huge bomb of a film that kills utterly sales of the trade collection could be the only thing that convinces DC to let the book finally go out of print so that the rights revert...




Speaking of striking while the iron is hot, wouldn't now be the ideal time to release Grendel Grendel Grendel on DVD, before this new Beowulf film kills popular interest in the story for ever and all time?




How has my life lead me to the point where I can see this:


And this:


On the same day...more or less at the same place...and not realize that this day was in any way unusual until later?

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Tuesday, October 09, 2007

3 Sizes! Whoo! 

Mike: You buy comics just for the ads, don't you?
Me: Well...the ads help...


I'm choosing to interpret this image as "child's idealized vision of future self" because any other interpretation comes off as creepy. Even the "cowboy themed gay porn with midgets" interpretation.


Your Mom already knows they come in more than one size, kid...


"Bullets magically disassemble themselves, leaving less evidence for the police!"


"You had cowboy-themed gay porn with midgets, Dad?"
"How do you think I put myself through college?"


Ah, the good old days...when playing with deadly weapons and imitating genocidal thugs was considered wholesome...

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Saturday, October 06, 2007

How To Win Me Over 

One of the points raised the other day in my post about Sweeney Todd was that the play is actually very funny, something not on display in the trailer. So, to get the Cult of Burton off my back (like the Cult of Joss, only with better clothes), I'll make you a deal. If Depp and Bonham Carter can pull off this scene, I'll be charitably inclined towards the film.

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Friday, October 05, 2007

Friday Night Fights 



Lois Lane...dressed as a clown...giving a hood what I believe is popularly known as a "pimp slap."
Aren't comics great?

Every brutal beating

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Oh Dear 

This brief snippet of Sweeney Todd pretty much confirms many of my misgivings. Talk-singing? Helena Bonham Carter looking woefully miscast as Mrs. Lovett? A more ridiculous wig on Johnny Depp than he's ever worn before? A seeming reluctance to let the audience know it's a musical?
Oh, dear...

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Thursday, October 04, 2007

Zatanna vs. James Randi Jr. 

By request, more of the Zatanna story "The Boy Who Never Smiled", from Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane # 132...also featuring the introduction of "Melba."

First, the little bastard precocious skeptic:



Okay kid, even if it WERE physically possible for seeds to grow that fast...or to sprout on skin...she's still holding up a friggin' tree with her head...that's pretty impressive.


That's, uh, that's NOT how hallucinogenic gasses work, kid.


That's NOT how trick mirrors work, kid.


Actual satanic powers being used to his benefit doesn't impress him, but a woman falling on her ass does. This kid's not sick, he's a sadistic little sociopath! Clearly Zatanna has wandered into the psych ward by mistake. Get out now Zat, before he adds you to his "collection of pretty things!"

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Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Creepy Bald Zatanna 

File Under: This is a fetish for somebody...

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Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Monkey! 

I don't know about the rest of you, but I definately feel the need for a little monkey this morning:

Monkey sign language is a very succint, yet descriptive, language.



The whole gamut of anthropoid emotion in two panels!

Special Bonus Subtext Panel!

Oh, my!

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Monday, October 01, 2007

Cheat! 

This is what I was promised:

Men in loincloths fighting tanks disguised as fire-breathing jaguars! Fantastic!

This is what I got:

Uhm...that's quite clearly a quadruped.


And that doesn't look remotely like what we were shown earlier! Isn't there some saving grace for this comic?


Oh, an amateurish caricature of Edward G. Robinson? That'll do.

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© 2007 Dorian Wright. Some images are © their respective copyright holders. They appear here for the purposes of review or satire only.