In suburban Not Canada, a drifter inquires about a room for rent at a not at all suspicious looking home, where the landlady has been looking for a male tenant to fill the void left by her late husband. He thinks he’s in store for widow nookie, but nope, vampire, with a magical cape that lets people travel through time.
This is one of those “just go with it” episodes, by the way.

Our heroes show up just in time for Frank the drifter to get turned into a landlady, hypnotize Micki, and whisk Ryan and Micki with him to 1875 London. Which is filmed in black and white.
As I said, a “just go with it” episode.
Micki and Ryan almost immediately make the aquitance of Abraham, an Irish writer, and his new bride Caitlan, who offer to take the pair who can’t seem to stop dropping broad “we’re time travelers” hints home with them. Frank, in the meantime, takes quite naturally to being a vampire, and starts depleting the local prostitute population. Subtle as ever, Micki and Ryan spill the beans to Abraham and Caitlan that they need to recover a magic cape from a vampire to get home, while Micki slowly succumbs to an eerie state caused by Frank’s hypnosis. Ryan, at least, is genre-savvy enough to want to wait for the morning to track down Frank, though the arrival of an angry mob searching for a vampire brings him, Micki and Abraham out into the fog.

Micki’s hypnosis eventually leads the trio to Frank’s lair, where our vampire has found that removing the cloak turns him into an aged monster. Micki nearly gets the boys killed, but a handy application of garlic lets everyone make their escape. Leaving Micki in Caitlan’s care, Ryan and Abraham stock up for a day of vampire killing. Unfortunately, sunset comes early and Frank tracks down Micki to Abraham’s flat, killing Caitlan in the process of taking his “bride.” Events culminate in Frank’s lair, where Abraham stakes him and Micki and Ryan use the cloak to return home. Once there, Jack deduces that Abraham was Bram Stoker and the events served as the basis for Dracula because of course they did.

This…is a very silly episode. Not just because the antique is the most vaguely powered one they’ve encountered yet, nor for the matter of fact way the show drops in the idea that vampires are a thing, but also for the extremely tiring black-and-white sequences which make up most of it. The one bright spot is Robey, clearly having a ball hamming it up and chewing scenery in her hypnotized scenes.

A Very Robey 80s

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