One of the things that happens when you move is that the previous tenants catalogs keep showing up. Sometimes you can get a sense of what kind of person lived there before from these things, but mostly it’s just boring, aspirational stuff like Sur La Table or Pottery Barn.

Today’s catalog was Bud K, something I hadn’t seen since I was in high school. It struck me today that this stuff is basically just a Previews catalog without the explicit nerd pandering.
Honestly, this stuff is kind of amazing, in a “really not for me” sort of way.

And right out of the gate, we’ve got a Predator mask…
Okay, so there is still some nerd pandering. Hey, the bread-and-butter of this operation seems to be selling movie replica and “fantasy” weapons. You’ve got to expect a little of this.

And then we get kitty-cat shaped knuckle-spikes right next to testicles for your key-chain. Because if your truck already has testicles, your keys need them too.
Actually, the kitty spikes need a little something…

There we go…Sanrio, call me.

Part of me wants to know whether walking into someone’s bedroom and seeing a Confederate bedspread is a turn on for some people…

It’s a horn…

A sword hidden inside an umbrella makes perfect sense. I’m constantly having to fight off swashbucklers in the rain.

If the idea is to create an inconspicuous stash box, something that looks like a gun and straps to your steering wheel doesn’t strike me as the best solution.

Oh, sure, a Masonic watch sounds like a good idea, but you have to be initiated into at least the 12th degree to read it correctly…

No joke, I really do think it’s fantastic that Bud K’s customer base includes people who would wear an “Armour of God” t-shirt and people who would buy “jiggly-boob” beer cozies.
Also on this same page:

It truly is your one-stop shopping resource for Christians, Pagans and Creepy Guys.

I think “futuristic” here is being used to mean “legally distinct from anything Lucas owns the copyright on.”

Yes. Your “law enforcement” needs. Because that’s exactly what hand and leg cuffs that cost under $20 are going to be used for.

This is nothing short of breath-taking. The Bud K people have found a way to get people to pay to have pieces of wood shipped to them.
They are brilliant. There is nothing more I can say about this catalog. Oh, no…there is one more thing…

It’s a horn…

14 Responses to “Previews for a Different Kind of Nerd”
  1. elsie says:

    The academic in me says there’s an article, or at least a conference presentation, on the construction of masculinity in this catalog. The woman in me: ugh, creepy and disturbing.

  2. Captain Splendid says:

    Pro-Tip: Acquire a can of blue spray paint, and try to keep it in your car. Then, everytime you see one of those ‘truck nuts” on the back of someone’s car, you can quickly and easily upgrade them.

  3. HermitIX says:

    Thor’s Hammer would also be a big hit with white supremacist. They eat up all that Norse mythology stuff.

  4. Dorian says:

    elsie–What’s interesting is that they do offer products that are clearly being aimed at women. Pink pepper spray bottles, for instance.

  5. elsie says:

    Dorian, looks like there’s room for the construction of femininity as well. Pink pepper spray: for when your man isn’t around to protect you with his sword/baton. Just out of curiosity – are any of the products aimed at women butch at all, or are they framed as defensive things like pepper spray? I’m getting a good ol’ boy/good ol’ girl vibe from the products you’ve described here.

  6. Evan Waters says:

    I just can’t see John Steed ordering from this catalog.

  7. Jon (DeepBlue) says:

    And I though I had seen everything! Well… I did have a Space 1999 laser gun some… 30 years ago! Is collecting stamps still popular?

  8. Dean says:

    It’s exactly as nerdy as Previews, but in a completely different way.

  9. Candlejack says:

    No comments about all the Nazi memorabilia? Or are they just going with Confederates now?

    (I used to get those catalogs. I started getting them at the same time as I started getting Adam & Eve and Wolfe Video catalogs. And I never did figure out where any of them got my address from, though I did buy things out of all three catalogs after I started getting them. *hangs head in shame*)

  10. Dorian says:

    Candle–I am somewhat disinclined to make Nazi jokes.

  11. Candlejack says:

    Fair enough! I guess I was hoping (stupidly, I know) that they’d maybe reconsidered selling some of the white supremacist crap.

  12. Xanadude says:

    The website is just terrifying in it’s world view.
    Then again, explaining Japanese tentacle porn manga to someone because of a stray manga catalog is just as bad….

  13. Peter says:

    Now, Dor… admit it! You want the umbrella/sword… I know how many times you’ve seen the Avengers! :-)

  14. Eric L says:

    “Always be prepared for rain or thugs.” Those are words to live by right there.

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