So, by now most people have heard that an actor was finally cast to play Hal Jordan in a Green Lantern movie. Apart from a few Deadpool fans weeping over how they’ve been betrayed, most people even seem pleased with the choice of Ryan Reynolds. Only for now, of course. This is a comic book movie, and this pleasent feeling of good will is only the prelude to the tidal wave of fan entitlement and nerd rage we have to look forward to. Reynolds is a smart choice, as well. He’s done action roles before, and generated a phenomenal amount of goodwill for his role in Wolverine, plus the success of The Proposal indicates that he can carry a film and appeals to women. The only thing that I find slightly puzzling was the weird release of two other actor’s names as contenders for the role. Bradley Cooper would have been just fine. He’s a good, under-rated actor, but The Hangover means he’s probably going to be offered a lot of “dude” comedies for a little while. Which is a shame, as he does drama very well. If for no other reason, you should see <cite>My Little Eye</cite> for his delivery of one incredibly unsettling line. I can only conclude that the notion of Justin Timberlake was an elaborate practical joke that no one got.

But Reynolds…yeah, Reynolds will work. People don’t often see Hal as a guy capable of getting a joke, but forget that he’s an egotist and smarmy as hell. Reynolds can do that beautifully, and has in most of his comedic roles. Hell, it’s practically type-casting. Plus, given that Reynolds has a not inconsiderable gay following, and that all films about pilots eventually feature blatant homoerotic antics (though why this is so is a mystery for the ages), if there are any concerns about Reynolds in the role, there’s a simple and obvious solution: pander like mad.

• Include at least one scene of Hal and the other pilots taking long, soapy communal showers. In slow motion.
• Coast City is either next to San Diego, Los Angeles, or San Francisco. Of those three, San Diego makes the most logistical sense. It’s also pretty damn gay, with a thriving porn scene. Two and two, guys…
• Emphasize over and over again how there’s nothing remotely symbolic about a bunch of different ring-wearing paramilitary organizations organized along the lines of the colors of a rainbow at all.
• Mogo? Obviously a drag queen.
• Since the creators of the comic book can’t seem to conceive of a way to draw that ridiculous Star Sapphire costume on a male character–despite the fact that outfits for men that look just like it actually exist–go ahead and throw a male Star Sapphire into the film. The way the tail wags the dog with super-hero movies and comic books, we’ll either get a guy into the Lavender Corps or Star Sapphire into a decent costume.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 15th, 2009 at 12:01 AM and is filed under DC, men, movies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.