“Hey, Herc, can I call you Herc? Thanks for stopping by.”

“Verily, thou didst till Deborah that it twas most urgent.”

“Deborah?”

“Mine personal assistant.”

“Ah, right. Anyway, Herc, the reason we called you down here today is your new catch-phrase. It’s just not working.”

“Mine catch-phrase?”

“Yeah, remember when you were fighting that schlub in L.A. last weekend? Here, we have some video.”

“Aye, tis because the mortal vehicle flew at me not unlike an arrow from Apollo’s golden bow.”

“Right. Yes. And we get that. Love it. It’s just…Middle America, Herc. They hear you talking about ‘Apollo’s shaft’ and, well…it sounds a little, you know…’gay’ to them.”

“Twas not a happy occasion.”

“No, I mean…how can I put this so that you’ll understand…you know…like you and your ’special friend’ Hylas?”

“I am not sure…oh…Oh! Yes, I doth see your dilemma, mortal.”

“So, what we here at Marvel really need you to do for us, Herc, is to try some new catch-phrases. Ones that won’t make our customers think about…”

“The Greek Vice?”

“Exactly.”

“Ah, well, there is another oath that doth seem appropriate in battles such as this.”

“Okay, yeah, I like the classical theme you’ve got going, but I don’t think legal will clear that one. What else have you got?”

“Herc…that’s not going to work.”

“But, thou hast started accepting ads for the pills for males with less than godly endowments, and Deborah hath said that ’synergy’ doth be verily important.”

“Herc. No. Try something else.”

“Well…”

“Herc, please, we’re desperate for something we can market. T-shirts. Posters. Come on.”

“There doth be one last oath which could work for all of us.”

“Lay it on me, Herc baby.”

“Art thou weeping, mortal? Aye, the love of comrades dost bring a tear to mine eye as well.”

“Please just leave. And send in Wolverine and Sabretooth, would you? I…I need to have a talk with them as well.”

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