Hulk: World War Hulk: Incredible Herc
Incredible Hercules: Against the World
by Greg Pak, Jeff Parker, Fred van Lente and various, published by Marvel Comics

These two books are a good sampling of what’s good and what’s bad with Marvel comics as a whole right now. For example, from the trade dress, you’d think Against the World is the first volume of Hercules adventures by Pak, but no, that would be a World War Hulk trade…which includes several non-Hercules related stories. However, while both books rely heavily on the Marvel status-quo as affected by Civil War and World War Hulk, Pak and his co-writers allow that information to come through naturally through character dialog. I don’t care one damn whit about the status of Ares with the Avengers, for example, but I’m told right away, in a clear way that makes sense, that he and Hercules are on opposite sides of a super-hero dispute and that Ares is, despite appearances to the contrary, a villain.
But chiefly, what I liked about these volumes was that they’re fun, and genuinely funny. Oh, to be certain there’s the obligatory and masturbatory angst given to both Hercules and his side-kick Amadeus Cho, world’s smartest boy, but it is judiciously used to flavor and ground what is other-wise a high adventure super-hero story with a humorous edge.

Bad Dog #1
by Joe Kelly and Diego Greco, published by Image Comics

A werewolf bounty hunter and his foul-mouthed, alcoholic ex-priest side-kick have a really bad day trying to collect a bounty. I’m a sucker for a good werewolf story, and it’s so rare to find them. Here we’ve got some genuine rough, dark comedy, with fantastic artwork with beautiful use of colors and shading. The characters are broad by necessity, given their situation and premise, but with a nice dose of humanity in Lou, the werewolf who, ironically, hates humans so much he refuses to turn back into one.
Now, if only Kelly can avoid a “the real monster is…man” scene, this has potential.

Bang! Tango #1
by Joe Kelly and Adrian Sibar, published by DC Comics/Vertigo

Vertigo seems to have settled into a nice little publishing niche of putting out crime/mystery comics and Sandman-lite books of highly variable quality. There hasn’t really been too much to interest me from the line of late, with Vinyl Underground‘s rapid cancellation and Young Liars turning to shock value over story or character far too quickly for my taste. And, to be honest, at first this didn’t really grab me either. I’ve seen the man with a criminal past trying to run from it, only to be dragged back in by someone he feels an obligation to before. I’ve seen the obnoxious, arrogant, unlikeable protagonist done to death. And while Sibar’s art is nicely stylized, it wasn’t enough to sell me.
And then I get to the last page, and that one image alone throws just about everything that came before out the window and forces me to reevaluate it in light of this new information.
Oh, well done. I’m in.

Agents of Atlas #1
by Jeff Parker and Carlo Pagulayan, published by Marvel Comics

I wish I could have had a completely positive reaction to this, because this is pretty much the sort of thing I want from my Marvel books: high adventure, fun comics, with a motley and varied cast of characters. It’s got sharp humor and gorgeous, gorgeous artwork. And, here’s the thing: it’s well-written enough that I honestly don’t care that the tediousness of the Dark Reign storyline forms a significant plot point in the first issue. But: I never read the Agents of Atlas mini-series, and it’s presumed that I did. Again, let me be clear: it’s so good and so well done, that in the end I don’t care, but it nags at me that it is assumed that I’m supposed to know who all these characters are and how they go to the point they’re at now.

Jersey Gods #1
by Glen Brunswick and Dan McDaid, published by Image Comics

I bought this purely because I’ve become a fan of McDaid’s work on the Doctor Who comics that run in Doctor Who Magazine, and I was eager to see what he could do with a full-length comic story. Not only did I get some more good-looking McDaid art, I also got a knowing super-hero comic in the tradition of Jack Kirby that doesn’t slavishly attempt to recreate his artistic style or poorly disguise blatant New Gods fan-fiction. It’s great big cosmic action, mixed with mall-princess self-centeredness. It’s a clash of style and subject matter that works because of their incongruity.

R.E.B.E.L.S. #1
by Tony Bedard and Andy Clarke, published by DC Comics

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been enjoying the recent spate of DC space books for their sheer randomness and insanity. This new series carries on that tradition, though it does suffer slightly both from an over-reliance on references to recent events in the various space-books, notably the current status of L.E.G.I.O.N. and the planet Rann, though most of that gets handled in dialog asides. The real appeal here, apart from Andy Clarke’s very attractive and expressive art, is Bedard’s skill at handling utterly loathsome and hateable chracters in an entertaining fashion. He did it well in Negation, easily the best of the CrossGen books, and he does it here, by strongly foregrounding the utter bastardry of Vril Dox. He’s the sort of character you love to hate, and playing him off of Supergirl in this first issue works well.

Read the rest of this entry »

• Low-budget independent films by first-time directors will have a maximum length of 80 minutes.
• Summer tent-pole action films will have a minimum length of 90 minutes and a maximum length of two hours.
• Anyone who is not a professional screen-writer who speaks publicly about how “easy” screen-writing is will be beaten in the street.
• Films that don’t take place in Los Angeles or Toronto must have at least 50% of their exterior scenes shot in the location where the film takes place.
• When the monster in your horror film dies, it is dead. Film-makers will be prohibited from closing their films on a shot of the monster coming back to life.
• Uwe Boll will be allowed to make films. Anyone who goes to an Uwe Boll film and then complains that it was terrible, however, will be beaten in the street.
• The maximum allowable length for a comedy is 90 minutes. For Judd Apatow films it is 80 minutes.
• A comedian who successfully makes it through a drama without performing any of his stand-up routine is not entitled to an Oscar nomination.
• A pop song used in a film trailer must be used in the film.
• Children’s films are permitted no more than two jokes about bodily excretions.
• All animated films are to be voiced by professional voice actors, not flavor-of-the-month celebrities.
• Animated films are allowed one, and only one, funny animal side-kick for the main character.
• Villains in animated films are allowed one, and only one, incompetent hench-being.
• Heroes in action films are allowed one ironic joke regarding a villain’s death every thirty minutes.
• Science-fiction films must have at least one scientifically plausible piece of technology.
• A new film-rating scale will be devised, in which films are ranked by how badly distracting the audience will find the toupee the balding leading man is wearing.
• Films that claim to be be “based on” or “inspired by” real events must contain no more than 25% fiction in the final edit.
• Films with supernatural themes that claim to be “based on” or “inspired by” real events must end with the disclaimer: “The preceding film was Grade-A, 100% Horse Shit.”
• Any film-maker who proposes to make a movie about a person who travels from the big city to a small town and discovers “real” values will be beaten in the street.
• Any romantic film in which the male lead behaves in a misogynistic manner, stalks a woman, berates a woman, or “puts a woman in her place” must have the phrase “This character is an asshole” on the screen in large, bold type every time the character is in shot.
• By the same token, any female lead in a romantic film who takes it upon herself to “fix” or “improve” a disagreeable male character must have the phrase “This character is delusional” on the screen in large, bold type every time the character is in shot.
• The “sassy best friend” role in films aimed at women is hereby banned.
• Any film-maker who, in their horror, sci-fi, fantasy or action film, includes a gay or black character, who is then killed with no logically compelling, rational, story-based reason, must, for a period of no less than six months and no more than eighteen, wear a sandwich board every time they go out in public which reads “I perpetuate stupid stereo-types and cliches in my movies.” The length of time the sandwich board must be worn depends on how frequent their offense in this matter are.

The Discontinuity Guide, 1995, Paul Cornell, Martin Day and Keith Topping
This is pretty much the most useful guide-book to classic series Who as you’re ever likely to find. The best episode summaries, an attempt to clarify the continuity between episodes, an examination of the inspirations behind the episodes and listings of every hideous costume, styrofoam cave wall and dialogue triumphs and disasters, all in this book.
I really wouldn’t mind seeing something like this for the new series, for that matter.

Seriously, have you ever seen a more gleefully assholic expression on an animal’s face before?

• If a film has a comic book “prequel,” the film won’t be any good.
• If a film is primarily advertised in comic books, it won’t be any good.
• The people who complain the loudest about a comic are the ones least likely to have read it.
• Your importance as commentator on the comic book industry is inversely proportional to how important you think you are to the comic book industry.
• The more exposition in a comic written by Grant Morrison, the more people will complain that it doesn’t make any sense.
• The people most concerned about comics being accessible to new readers have been reading them for over twenty years.
• Sales will always be mistaken for quality.
• Every character has at least one fan.
• If every comic book reader who threatened to boycott a publisher’s products actually did so, the comic book industry would collapse overnight.
• Collector’s items aren’t.
• If comic book publishers actually produced the books people say they want, no one would actually buy them.
• Nobody ever “demanded” it.
• The more stringent a character’s “code against killing” the more cavalierly they will break it in a film adaptation.
• If you mostly read Marvel comics, their books are creatively driven, as opposed to the editorially driven books that DC publishes.
• If you mostly read DC comics, their books are creatively driven, as opposed to the editorially driven books that Marvel publishes.
• No matter how stupid and boneheaded a thing a comic book publisher does, someone will defend it.
• They’re called Marvel Zombies for a reason.
• Comics were always better when you were a kid than they are now. If rereading a comic published when you were a kid reveals it to be sub-literate hack-work, well, clearly that one particular issue was the exception that proves the rule.
• The best comics ever written and drawn came out when you were twelve. It’s all been downhill for the industry since then.
• People will complain when publishers don’t give them what they say they want.
• They will complain more when publishers do give them what they say they want.

Further ideas are welcome in the comments.