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Tuesday, August 28, 2007
I Lack The Romance Sensibility
Our Love Story #26's lead feature is an entertaining look at an early model of the "metrosexual" variety. At least, that's the interpretation I'm going with. Because the slightly more plausible interpretation is that the story is about a young woman a little too dim to realize that her boyfriend is a closeted homosexual just using her as a beard in order to help himself become a success in the, er, fashion industry.
Oh, man...clothes designer, stands hip-askew, wears a gold bracelet...he's at least a 3/5 on the ol' Gaydar.
"That's right Dad, clothes! He won't even so much as deep kiss me! So back off, old man!"
"And he's so sensitive...and he doesn't try to paw me like the other boys do...and he likes going to the muscle-man beach with me..."
That's right Jill...no 9-to-5 job means less money to buy you pretty, pretty clothes...
Is...is that a momentary flash of insight on Jill's face? The artist has perfectly captured that "Why am I wasting my time on this broke-ass homo?" look.
Honey, Derek finds himself every weekend at the steam room in the gym...
Uh, no, I'm calling bullshit on this. Because as we all know, the one thing there isn't enough of in this world is advertising. Of course, if "Dad" treats all his customers like he does Derek, no wonder his business is falling off. "We'd like to advertise our exciting new lines of vitamin pills." "What is that, for loafers?"
Hey, it's the secret origin of The Gap!
And then we ran out of story pages so we get the horribly implausible ending. And for years, Jill wondered why Derek had to stop off at every rest-stop whenever they traveled anywhere by car. And why he became a Republican...