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Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Dorian Vs. The End of Civilization in Review
I opened up my copy of Previews, and it immediately flopped to this postcard. That's a hell of a thing to have to see right off.
And no, no "Boob Count" this month. Do you have any idea how damn depressing it was to do last time?
Groo is apparently coming back, and bringing with it some of its subtle political themes. Of course, I don't remember online conversations about politics being quite so...vitriolic...the last time a Groo comic was on the stands. No doubt we'll see a "hilarious" blog post from the conservative comics blogosphere debunking the "Global Warming Myth" hinted at in the solicitation for Hell on Earth.
Dark Horse is bringing John Norman's Gor books back into print. One of the most blatantly misogynistic fantasy series of all time, if not the most misogynistic fantasy series. A series alleged to have inspired real-life crimes against women. And I've yet to hear a peep about it from anyone...
Yet another new edition of The Pro is due out...man, Ennis is just determined to cause Steranko a coronary, isn't he?
Oh, great...more zombie crap...
No, seriously...Gold Digger still comes out? Well, good for Fred Perry, I guess.
This is me avoiding a cheap shot at The Unfunnies.
Dear Bluewater Productions: you are, in fact, allowed to use colors other than brown.
I think DMP needs a theme song. Any suggestions? (Yes, "Dude looks like a lady" is too obvious.)
Has anyone been reading these Fangoria comics? I've flipped through a couple in the shop, and they're incredibly unpleasant. Both in terms of quality and subject matter. Real pandering to the lowest common denominator stuff here. I'm half curious to know if anyone out there actually is enjoying these things. But then, I also think they may be aiming at a market other than comic fans. Have they been hyping these things in the magazine and the horror fandom circuit?
Also, this seems as good a time as any to mention it, but if you've never gone through the "Adult Previews" supplement, I highly recommend it. There's nothing quite like that moment of cognitive dissonance you get when, after going through three or four pages of solicitations for soft-core lesbian porn you come across a full page ad for Japanese boy-love comics.
Oh, all right. "The Unfunnies? Talk about truth in advertising!"
So, after all that grief Diamond gave Tim Leong about Comic Foundry not meeting their standards (reminder: Diamond carries such products as the Rich Little Bitch DVD and Girls and Corpses magazine), they carry it and give it a "Spotlight On" tag...Granted, Housewives at Play: Lez Be Friends is also a "Spotlight On" item. Also, go tell your friendly local comics retailer that you want Comic Foundry.
You thought I was kidding about Girls and Corpses, didn't you?
From the solicitation for God's Gift: Over 100 Studs, Stallions and Dreamboats of the 70s and 80s: "From Arnold Schwarzenegger and Patrick Swayze, to Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds and Mr. T, this sexy collection of over one-hundred Lotharios, Romeos, and Casanovas from the '70s and '80s is sure to make your pulse race..." Now, I lived through the 80s...I don't remember Mr. T at any point being considered a hunk. Hell, I think they're stretching to include Arnie...
"You're sure this is a legitimate modeling gig, right? Not some weird fetish mag?"
Surprisingly, not the gayest toy in Previews this month.
Oh, so Asian kids don't get names, is that it? Mezco are a bunch of racists! (That last line may have been a joke...)
Who's the cutest widdle mass-murderer? You are! Yes you are! Oh, yes you are!
This would be the gayest toy in Previews this month:
There, fangirls, are you happy? A man being objectified in the exact same way as all those girly statues and toys! Happy? Satisfied? (That last line may have been a joke...) [Yes, it really was a joke! He's in a strong, assertive pose, not waiting to be mounted. So not at all like any of the girly statues, really.]
Oh, I think I may have found a cuter widdle mass-murderer!
Pete, if you're reading this, no, I do not really find mass-murderers cute.
Actual conversation I had with that jerk Mike when I placed my order for this: "You know Dorian, you should really get a Cyberman. Martha and the Doctor need someone to fight." "Oh, they're not going to fight, Mike." "Gyah!" (Yes, I did order the Cyberman. But not Novice Hame. Though, man, she does look cool...)
Man, a new edition of Talisman and a Kingdom Hearts CCG? Nerd Bliss! (Admit it, some of you are shocked that I'm a geek for one of those things, much less both of them.)