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Monday, April 30, 2007
Lessons the Internet Has Taught Me
Everyone else gets all the fun trolls.
My side of the internet is the cool side. We're also sexier and dress better.
Using your blog to grind personal axes gets really old really fast.
Marvel has been corrupted by the homosexuals. Or the Arabs. Or possibly the gay Arabs.
YouTube makes up for not having anything to say today quite nicely.
There's nothing the slightest bit hypocritical about praising Marvel for doing the same things you criticize DC for doing.
I'm far too polite. The fact that I haven't responded to anyone's post on any blog or message board with the phrase "you're fucking retarded, aren't you" is proof of that.
The knee-jerk homophobia of comic fans never stops being entertaining. The knee-jerk misogyny is just soul-crushing however. At least they've stopped being overtly racist. Most of the time.
Manga has gotten as boring as American comics. But, shh, we're not supposed to talk about that. Or the blatant misogyny and racism in so much of it. Because it's self-evidently superior to American comics.
I'd read more indie comics if the creators weren't pretentious jerks. Or half as whiny. Or quite so obviously only creating comics in order to impress girls.
We have the comics industry we deserve.
Dan Didio apparently spends his weekends jetting around the country and running over comic fan's dogs. And Joe Quesada rides shotgun.
God help me, I miss Bill Jemas.
If comic fans go for more than forty-eight hours without complaining about something online, they'll have an aneurysm.
Watching people miss the point leads to wonderful, unintended comedy. Than great sadness. Then comedy again.
Why yes, I do think less of you if MySpace is your blogging platform of choice.
I only read your blog to forward links to posts to my friends. And then we make fun of you. Because that's all your blog is good for.
Tokyopop is the Marvel of manga. No, that's not a compliment.
People really like comics about mice. Yet Gemstone had to cancel Mickey Mouse.
The people that Shakespeare joke was aimed at didn't get it.
Saying that you think Justice is good will make me think less of you.
On the whole, I could do with less people who think trying to imitate a popular writer's online persona makes them seem intelligent or witty. Yes, that goes for the writer in question as well. Actually, the phrase "shut up and write some comics" comes to mind.
Concern trolling, when applied to comics, is just sort of tragic.
That the qualitative differences between, say, an Adam Hughes picture and a Michael Turner picture escapes people gives me cause for concern.
Guys, she's not going to sleep with you, and yes, your intentions are just that transparent.
The existence of the internet is justified by pictures of cats and other animals with funny captions.
We've finally moved on from people thinking that "irony" means "made of iron." Sadly, people now seem to think it means "to press a hot plate of metal against cloth."