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Sunday, December 03, 2006
The Scourge of the Season
I want to change tactics for a minute here and talk about an important social issue that isn't getting enough discussion. I know that this site has a reputation for being "funny" but now is not the time for humor. There is a serious threat out there to every man, woman and child on the planet, and I want to address it in a totally honest and sincere manner.
I'm speaking, of course, of the threat of Christmas.
At this very moment, brave men and women are overseas fighting to protect us from this scourge. There they are, up at the North Pole, in deadly combat with The Fat Man's miniature army, and how do we react here in America? We put up altars to The Fat Man in our homes. We take our children to our shopping centers to receive a blessing from his look-a-likes. We turn our media over to paeans to his "greatness."
We have, in short, sought to appease him.
The situation has gotten so bad that many of our television and radio personalities now speak approvingly of the need to re-introduce "Christmas" into the public sphere, in place of the more generic, inclusive and accurate "Holidays." These people are willing to surrender our nation to the most vile and repulsive of tyrants, and they have the audacity to question the patriotism and nationalism of others. The man I like to call "Bethlehelm Bill" is the worst of these offenders, but there are many, and the strange acquiescence of the American people to the foreign despot at this time of year brings them out of the woodwork.
And so, I have a simple plea for all of you at this time of year. Fight it. Fight the War on Christmas. When carolers come to your door, insist that they sing some Sabbath instead. Don't shop at stores advertising "Christmas sales." Don't kill a beautiful tree simply to worship a red devil or place aircraft confusing lights on your house or yard.
This is a war we can win. This is a war we must win, for the future of America and our children.