Man of the Moment

Sean William Scott

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Friday, September 01, 2006

Wonder Woman #300, Part Five 

Just before her wedding to Steve Trevor, Diana has one more of her vision-dream-things. Only in this one, she somehow manages to not fall in love with, well, anyone. In fact, she comes across as, well, a bit of a ball-breaker this time.

See what I mean? No time for mooning over Steve this time. She's come to put the "debauched, war-mongering race of men" in their place. Which is beneath her boot. I'm not sure if this is supposed to be some nightmarish version of what a "feminist" world is supposed to look like, or a fetish for a dominating woman taken a little far, but it's...kinda creepy to see Diana in border-line Punisher mode and full-on misandry.

Hey, now, you lay off of Pan, lady! If I were a pagan he would totally be one of my patrons!

Steve and Wonder Woman land on the building while it's under attack by terrorists. Naturally, she leaps enthusiastically into the fray, eager to beat some sense into some men!

Hey, look, an Omac swipe!

Oh, relax. She decides to catch him. Only because she's not done beating him up yet.

Diana isn't too appreciative of the city's efforts to thank her. Frankly, she's more than a little stuck-up about it. It's starting to seem like she's getting more than a little corrupted by her power and her mission to discipline men.

Vanity, thy name is Wonder Woman

No, there's nothing decadent about that at all...

Predictably, Diana eventually takes things a tad too far, and tries to over-throw the American government and take the Presidency by force. Steve Trevor has been lying in wait for her to make this move, however, and he and the military men under his command ambush Diana. Or, you know, that's what we're supposed to think, but since Steve is kind of a tool, he was probably just hiding out from Diana in the White House all this time and her coup attempt botched his plans. And so he had to make himself look good in front of his boss.

Hands up who didn't see this coming? Oh, yeah, the people who have never read a comic book before.

She totally stole that little sneer from Billy Idol.

So after all these unsettling dreams, Diana's a little nervy of going through with the wedding. She decides to give it a shot, in the hopes that getting it over with will help settle her mind. Plus, you know, all the guests are on their way, the caterer cashed the know how it goes. Good thing nothing ever goes wrong at a super-hero wedding, huh?

Told you Steve was a jerk. At the altar yet.

Turns out Steve can't go through with the wedding because he's, get this, too upset over the death of Diana Prince. Turns out her death made him realize how important she was to him, and now he's not certain whether he loves the flesh-and-blood Amazon or the dead mousy aide more. And so it wouldn't be fair to Diana to marry her until he knows whether it's her or, er, Diana he really loves.
That's got to be the lamest cold feet excuse ever. Luckily, while Diana's feeling sorry for herself, she gets one more visit from the Sandman. Who knocks her out and kidnaps her. Because he loves her so much. Yeeaahhh...

Would a "roofie dust" joke be in bad taste?

Anyway...Sandman kidnaps Wonder Woman and takes her into the Dream Dimension. Diana decides that, you know, maybe dating the stalker wouldn't be so bad, at least he pays attention to her. (Have I ever mentioned that Diana has really lousy taste in men before?) They take an extremely Freudian unicorn ride across the dreamscape when Diana is attacked by the shadow creature once more. Turns out the shadow creature is some kind of dream monster, a manifestation of all her fears and self-loathing, but once it's caught by the golden lasso it's destroyed, because now Diana has confronted the truth about her doubts. Or, because we've only got two pages left to the comic. Take your pick.
At this point the Sandman realizes that he doesn't actually love Diana, he just enjoyed watching her dreams and mistook that fondness for her for love. So, he's not an obsessive stalker after all, just a voyeur. Oh, that's much better. Diana returns to reality, and the book ends on this charming note.

And Steve is immediately back to ignoring Diana Prince's existence, because he's too busy making out with Wonder Woman. Status Quo successfully maintained!


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