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Sean William Scott


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Monday, August 28, 2006

Wonder Woman #300, Part One 

The 300th issue of Wonder Woman is a very special anniversary issue. Not only do we get an in-continuity marriage between Diana and Steve Trevor, we also get to see several "What If?"-type scenarios, in which Diana learns what her life would have been like if the events leading up to Steve crashing his plane into the coast off of Paradise Island and Diana accompanying him to Man's World had gone a little bit differently. But first, the set-up:

Diana has been having trouble sleeping, and lately a shadowy, intangible creature has been attacking her. After the most recent attack, she succeeds in driving it away, but only after the Sandman jumps to her aid from the Dream Dimension. It seems he's been keeping a close eye on her, in a not-at-all-creepy, sort-of stalker-ish way. Classy guy that he is, he tells her to dump her man if he's causing her stress.


After politely telling him to pack himself back off to Jerkland, Diana heads to work:

This panel doesn't really add anything to the story, I just thought that guy's thought balloon was funny...


At the Pentagon, Diana and gal-pal Etta Candy are called into a meeting with Col. Trevor and General Darnell to announce that Diana is being given a promotion. She's now, effectively, equal in rank to Steve. Everyone is excited about Diana finally being given the recognition she deserves for her years of hard work, including, apparently, doing most of Steve's job for him. Everyone except Steve, of course. The jerk.


"To be honest, I always thought of you as a sexless automaton that would pick up the slack at work while I go get busy with Wonder Woman. Hey, why are you leaving?"


Wonder Woman flies off in a snit, only to be once again attacked by the shadow creature. She's saved this time by her counter-part from Earth-2. Because, somehow, in the process of fighting the shadow creature, Diana crossed the dimensional barrier into Earth-2. Hey, that sort of thing happened before the Crisis. In any case, Diana takes Diana home, to help her work out her annoyance with her job and her man. It's there that Diana sees how happy Diana and Steve are now that they're married and meets their daughter, Lyta.

Look at Steve's face. You just know he's a minute or two away from proposing a three-way. "But, honey, it's not like I'd be having sex with another woman!"


"Ha-ha! Clark's an ass, isn't he?"


Well, it's not like Diana can cook.


Earth-2 Diana: "Whore." Earth-1 Diana: "Bitch." Steve Trevor: "Ladies, there's plenty of me to go around! Say, did I mention that it's not technically cheating?"


Diana returns to her own Earth, and decides that after seeing how "happy" Diana and Steve are on Earth-2, she tells Steve that she will, finally, agree to marry him. Wedding preparations are begun on Paradise Island (including devising a way for the groom to actually stand on the island for the ceremony), but the wedding is put off until after Steve, Etta and Diana Prince travel to a conference in Mexico. Diana's still not sure what to do about the whole secret identity thing, when the discovery of a bomb in the briefcase handcuffed to Diana gives her a tidy little solution.


A very low-key memorial service is held, and no one except her friends from work show up. Steve is too over-come by emotion to say anything, but Wonder Woman does manage to make it in the nick of time to deliver a stirring eulogy. After everyone leaves, Diana is left alone when the Sandman shows up again. He's still watching her, and in an effort to put her at ease, he relates to her his startling secret origin as a military scientist studying dreams and how to view and enter them. "Healthy young men, after all, often have sexual dreams which tend toward the explicit" he's sure to tell her. Because that's not creepy at all. She's not too thrilled to discover he knows the secret of her double identity as well.


After politely brushing him off, again, the Sandman leaves, but not before confessing his voyeuristic love for her.

Really, a threat? And he seemed so normal and well-adjusted up until now, did he?


Alone again, Diana finally manages to get some sleep, and sees a vision of what her life would have been like if her mother had found a way to keep her on Paradise Island. That will be in Part Two, tomorrow.

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© 2007 Dorian Wright. Some images are © their respective copyright holders. They appear here for the purposes of review or satire only.