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Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Does He Emit "Stupidity Radiation" or Something?
So, Jor-El is preparing for the destruction of the planet Krypton, and he decides to use his friend Zhan-Zar's "What If Machine" to determine which of six planets would make the best future home for Kal-El. The first planet he investigates is Xann, on which all the people are giants.
Setting aside the complete and utter lack of any sense in sending the infant to a planet where he regularly risks being crushed to death by someone failing to watch where they're going, I'm most offended by Jor-El contemplating sending his son to a world in which all the men wear hot pants with knee socks.
In any case, because Xann has a yellow sun, Kal-El develops super-powers, which he keeps a secret from the rest of the world. I guess because he didn't want to attract too much attention to himself...you know, being a well-known freak because of his size and all. But during a hostage crisis, Kal-El determines that he must save the men being imprisoned, and dons a costume to disguise his identity. And, well, you'll see:
"That incredibly tiny man with super-powers couldn't possibly be the only incredibly tiny man known to exist on our planet! Why, that would just be absurd!"
God, the Silver Age makes my head hurt sometimes...I'm going to go read Cafe Kichijouji De. At least that makes sense.