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Sunday, April 30, 2006
Lessons the Internet Has Taught Me
There is no such thing as comics criticism. All the people doing it must be hallucinations.
Promoting your favorite comic company is expected and encouraged. Unless you’re Larry Young, in which case it is unseemly.
The people that Watchmen joke was aimed at didn’t get it.
Sarcasm is the worst thing in the world. It’s a deadly menace and probably causes cancer.
Comics blogging is dead. Several hundred comics bloggers told me so.
The Portugese think I’ve outed Stanislav Ianevski
Heterosexual men really don’t like it when you point out that a car commercial is homophobic.
Telling people that perhaps they’re taking events in a comic-book cross-over too seriously means you’re the person who’s acting irrationally.
The best way to protest the cancellation of a title you like, or the “death” of a character you like, is to post angry tirade after angry tirade on blogs and message boards about how the comic book company doesn’t respect the fans and you’re never going to buy any more of their comics. And then list about a dozen or so exceptions to the “never buy again” rule because those comics “aren’t really part of the regular continuity.”
Given the number of comic bloggers with scanners, it’s a wonder that images don’t get duplicated more than they already do.
Rape jokes really aren’t funny. No, not even if you’re intending them to be an ironic criticism of the use of violence against women in super-hero comics.
The more venomously someone disagrees with you, the more likely they are to prove your point for you.
Those who don't get the joke will insist that there is actually no joke to get, and that you’re only pretending that there’s a joke to get so that people wil think you’re clever.
X-Men fans are the final arbiters of whether or not a comic is good. Apparently...
Saying you don't like Sin City makes you a big jerk. Saying you do like All Star Batman makes you a big jerk. And nobody cares that Blacksad is better than both of them.
Never, ever criticize Tim Burton films.
When Mike gets sufficiently pissed off, you get a week of Adam West. When Dorian gets sufficiently pissed off, you get a week of Wildcat. Or, when Dorian gets horny, you get a week of Wildcat. Actually, that last point probably explains why you get Adam West weeks from Mike as well.
It’s entirely possible that gay and lesbian comics bloggers outnumber the rest of you at this point, and with a little fore-planning our coming coup could crush you all beneath our lavender boots and completely change the face of comics blogging forever.
Changing your template in a significant way on the fly is more difficult than it sounds.