Man of the Moment

Sean William Scott

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Monday, February 06, 2006

Las Vegas 

I don't like Las Vegas. Partly it may just me being slightly spoiled by living in California, but I can't stand walking around with people drunk on the streets with open alcohol containers and going into buildings full of smoking people. I also don't much like people trying to hand me crap, especially pornographic crap, every five feet down the side-walk. That garbage gets everywhere. Several very nice gardens around some of the resorts were ruined for me by looking down and seeing planters full of cigarette butts and big-busted naked women.

Most of my time was spent with my family. I was left to amuse myself by playing games of "Spot the Hooker," which I think I scored about 80% on, and "Frat Boy or Gay Boy." On "FB/GB" I probably only scored about 50/50. My gaydar is notoriously bad. And, of course, my game doesn't account for the possibility of gay frat boys. Also fouling up my gaydar were the prodigious amounts of men of Middle Eastern ancestry around the city. I tend to be attracted to Arabic men, so I notice them, and there's something about the way they dress and interact with each that, by American cultural standards, suggests "gay."

The only time I gambled I won $6 on penny slots, which I was only playing because I was waiting for my family to come to a god-damned decision about where to go after dinner already!
We ended up going to Fremont Street, which was as dreadful as I remembered it, though we did come across a fairly good funk band at the Golden Nugget. Some of you will be happy to know that all the cocktail waitresses there resemble Sarah Silverman.

I kept seeing signs on mobile billboards for "Escorts direct to your location in 30 minutes." And I kept thinking to myself, "if it takes more than 30 minutes, is it free?"

I made a trip to Alternate Reality Comics and was very impressed with the selection and the store itself. Inviting, well-organized, clean, well-lit and a remarkably diverse selection of comics. A top-rate comics store.

I found, by accident, the other comic store in Las Vegas, and once I saw it I had no desire to go in. I was amused to discover that it's in the same shopping center as a bathhouse. Not that I went to the bathhouse, mind you. But it and the comic shop just happen to be in the same shopping center as a store I was looking for.

My mother and I went to see Avenue Q at the Wynn. She enjoyed it, and I was quite happy as well, though a bit frustrated that they cut two songs and the intermission to make the show run in a ninety minute block.

The center-piece of the trip was my grand-mother's 75th birthday dinner. My obscenely wealthy uncle did "a favor" for my dad and his little brother and made the reservation at a very expensive, very trendy restaurant. It was full of loud, obnoxious people, men showing off their call girls, and lousy techno music. Not, exactly, my grand-mother's scene. I'm not quite sure if my rich uncle just wasn't thinking, or if he was trying to teach my dad and my other uncle a lesson about asking him for favors.
The meal was good, but I'm not sure it was $1700 good.


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