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Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Two Long Lists
I made Mike a CD to remember me by. Whenever my presence is missed in the shop he can put it on...and remember why they were glad to be rid of me.
1) Holly and Lister re-enact a typical conversation with a customer..."Wait, are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?"
2) Teach Me Tiger--April Stevens Stuff like this is as close as Mike and I can get to liking jazz.
3) Jolene--Dolly Parton It just wouldn't be a mix disc from me without this song on it.
4) My Heart Belongs to Daddy--Eartha Kitt We both are fond of the filthy, dirty songs that aren't actually filthy or dirty by modern standards.
5) Bedazzled--Peter Cook Brilliant, brilliant song, and it's a shame that the lousy Brendan Fraser film is keeping the original off DVD. "You fill me with inertia."
6) Knowing Me, Knowing You--Abba ...I like Abba, all right?
7) I Like You--Bert and Ernie Long story behind this onee...no subtext to the song at all.
8) He is the Boss of Me--Hidden Cameras Just another example of my weird taste.
9) Beach Blanket Bingo--Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon For no good reason other than to melt people's brains out their ears.
10) Alas for You--"Godspell" I've mentioned before that this song reminds me of comics blogging for some reason.
11) City Boy--Phil Ochs There had to be a Phil Ochs song on it. This is my favorite of the shorter, non-political songs.
12) Afternoon Delight--Starland Vocal Band Again, just because I'm that kind of guy.
13) 'Cause I'm a Blonde--Julie Brown There has to be one silly, goofy song on it.
14) A kids in the hall sketch that gets quoted far too often "You thanked Hitler!"
15) The Lunatics Have Taken Over the Asylum--Fun Boy Three Yeah, this song aptly describes working in comics retail.
16) Johnny Are You Queer--Josie Cotton There had to be a cheesy 80s song on it, and this one felt fitting.
17) Supermodel--Rupaul My weird sense of humor at play again.
18) Mah Nah Ma Na--The Muppets Long story...this song is the reason we're not allowed to say the name of a certain Dario Argento film starring Jennifer Connelly and Donald Pleasence, featuring a mutant midget and a chimp with a razor blade around Mike.
19) I Thought You Were My Boyfriend--Magnetic Fields The disc needed more gay, and it speaks to my odd taste in music.
20) Rock DJ--Robbie Williams There simply had to be a Robbie song on the disc.
21) Filthy/Gorgeous--Scissor Sisters You could, if you were cruel, say that this song describes Mike and I...
22) Be Aggressive--Faith No More Needs more gay...
23) Phantom of the Opera--Me First and the Gimmie-Gimmies If you know me, you know nothing pleases me more than an unnecessary cover.
24) Pretty Fly for a White Guy--Offspring Hmm...you know, I'm not actually sure, but it seems to work in context.
25) Hey Big Spender--Shirley Bassey The remixed version. You could probably put this on permanent loop in the store.
26) Soccer Practice--Johnny McGovern This is damn near my signature song at this point.
27) If I Were Gay--Stephen Lynch Still not enough gay, plus we needed more funny.
28) Spike has some parting words for the comics retail industry: "Try to remember I hate you all!"
My Overly Exhaustive Horror Quotes
"Ia! Ia! Cthulu Fthagan!" "They're coming to get you, Barbara!" "You've got red on you." "Oh God, Mother! Blood!" "Where you're going you won't need eyes to see." "Groovy." "No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering." "I've been away from my children for far too long." "I kick ass for the Lord!" "Your mother ate my dog." "We all float down here." "One of us! One of us!" "Stick to the road." "Maybe he got too gay with the vestal virgins." "I never drink wine." "Children of the night, shut up!" "Doomed! You're all doomed!" "We all go a little mad sometimes." "In one minute, terrible things are going to happen." "Great party, isn't it?" "All of you of Earth are idiots!" "All he wants is his machete." "I sleep now." "You don't know what death is!" "Don't worry. I won't bite." "I wanna play with you." "I know all about cannibalism." "You're so cool Brewster!" "We belong dead." "We belong local." "Are you local?" "Hello Dave?" "Meat's meat and mans gotta eat." "The good news is, your dates are here." "They're all gonna laugh at you!" "Dr. Hill, I must say I'm very disappointed in you." "Come play with me Daddy!" "Death by stereo!" "Send more paramedics." "It's got a death curse." "You're in all sorts of trouble if you kill someone when they're still alive." "Some vampires will believe anything." "Time for go to bed." "Body of Christ!" "The power of Christ compels you!" "Jesus...wept." "Ink isn't worth anything to me Winslow." "I'll get you a satanic mechanic." "This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce Brad!" "Trumpy, you can do magic things!" "Evil, pure and simple, from the Eighth Dimension. " "Back off man, I'm a scientist." "Satan's spirit flew right out of my tv set and into my soul." "There wolf. There castle." "What knockers!" "I know drug real from real real." "Bad luck isn't brought from broken mirrors, but from broken minds." "I am Torgo, I take care of the place while the Master is away." "One thing about living in Santa Clara I never could stomach, all the damn vampires." "Death has come to your little town, Sheriff." = "I don't belong in the world." "Whatever you do, don't fall asleep." "A naked American man stole my balloons." "Have you tried talking to a corpse? It's boring." "Silver bullets or fire, that's the only way to get rid of the damn things. They're worse than cockroaches." "Television is reality, and reality is less than television." "It's lonely being a cannibal. Tough making friends." "There's no fog bank out there." "I will show you things you have never seen and I will watch the life run out of you." "She's...European." "If it had ended, we wouldn't be here." "Only the ghosts in the house are glad we're here." "That house is not fit to live in. No one's been able to live in it. It doesn't want people." "Witches! All of them witches!" "He has his father's eyes." "Pray for death." "You better watch what you say about my car." "I can hold my breath for a long, long time." "I need me gold!" "Get out!" "Houses don't have memories." "Those are some mighty big fuckin' teeth ya got there, Bob." "I think you should send us the biggest transport plane you have." "In their eyes, you are the savage." "The dead are not quiet in Hill House." "Whose hand was I holding?" "It was an evil house from the beginning, a house that was born bad." "Don't torture yourself Gomez. That's my job." "Murder starts in the heart, and its first weapon is a vicious tongue." "It's all right sir. You're among friends sir." "He was overacting as usual, but he knew how to make an exit." "Dishy, dishy hair." "Do me a favor? Don't scream." "This property is hereby condemned." "Humans. You're not worth the flesh you're printed on." "Shreck? That's a German word, isn't it?" "Men sometimes have strange motives for the things they do." "I thought television was a family medium." "Wolfman's got nards!" "Where the hell am I supposed to find silver bullets? K-Mart?" "Spooky in there, ain't it?" "Filled with things best not spoken of. Yes, I saw the movie." "It's all for you!" "It is a cursed place." "You cannot threaten the dead with death, my friend."
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