Man of the Moment


Sean William Scott


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Monday, August 22, 2005

My Thoughts 

Last week, on the whole, was hell. This week isn't shaping up to be any better. I must find goofy comic-book panels to cheer myself up.

Anyway, here are some of the events of the last week I found notable:

I had a customer return a manga book because the creators weren't Japanese. Hah! Take that, anglo-phone manga creators!

If "customers" are going to give me attitude about the store, I'm sorely tempted to give them something to give me attitude about. I want people in costumes strolling around the store talking loudly about the sexual perversions they wish to perform on the under-age female super-heroes while death-metal blares on the stereo system at maximum volume while I play Magic at the register.

When the first word out of the mouth of a child that has been dropped off at the store while his parents go to the gift shop two doors down is "library," you know you're in for a fun forty-five minutes.

"Which Sin City poster is this one?"
Well, let me look, there's usually a description of the poster on the end...yep, it's the Jessica Alba poster.
"Well, which one is that?"
...It's a picture of Jessica Alba, dressed as a cow-girl, dancing. It's the same image that was used for one of the posters.
"But what if I get it home and it's not the right image?"
...So, there are pictures of half-naked, sweaty, bumping-and-grinding Jessica Alba that you'd be unhappy with?

"I need 23 current comic boards."
Well, I've got a packet of 25 boards right here.
"No, I only need 23 boards."
It's actually cheaper to buy the packet of 25. That's only $2.25, while the individual boards would be $2.30. It's only a nickel, but still cheaper.
"I ONLY WANT 23 BOARDS! STOP TRYING TO PRESSURE ME INTO SPENDING MONEY ON THINGS I DON'T NEED!"

Comic book message boards:
"Infinite Crisis is going to ruin the DC Universe and drive all their readers away! I've already stopped reading all DC books and only come here to tell everyone how bad the books I don't read are."
City of Heroes message boards:
"Issue Five is going to ruin the game and drive all their players away! I've already switched over to World of Warcraft and only come here to tell everyone how bad the game I don't play anymore is."
These are the same people, aren't they?

First statement of almost every customer picking up the V for Vendetta trade paper-back:
"Hey, this movie looks like it'll be really good!"
Statement almost every customer makes upon putting the V for Vendetta trade back on the shelf:
"This doesn't look anything like the movie."

Today it was just me and Kid Chris in the store all day.
Every time a customer would ask one of us for help with something, immediately two or three other people would also chime up and ask for help.
Two of us in the store. Three to four simultaneous requests for customer assistance.
All day.

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