Man of the Moment


Sean William Scott


Kindly direct email to:
dorianwright [at] gmail[dot]com


"Reading his blog is like watching a beloved 50's Rat Pack Vegas act"--Larry Young
"One of the few comics blogs I always make time for"--Antony Johnston
"Dorian Wright is intelligent and slightly bitter, like a fine coffee."--Kevin Church
"Absolutely huggable."--Bully
"It's always fun to see Dorian be bitchy."--Chris Butcher




www.flickr.com
pomobarney's photos More of pomobarney's photos


Current Diversions






Archives

Doctor Who
Paperback Book Club

200404   200405   200406   200407   200408   200409   200410   200411   200412   200501   200502   200503   200504   200505   200506   200507   200508   200509   200510   200511   200512   200601   200602   200603   200604   200605   200606   200607   200608   200609   200610   200611   200612   200701   200702   200703   200704   200705   200706   200707   200708   200709   200710   200711   200712   200801   200802   200803   200804   200805   200806   200807   200808   200809   200810   200811  


Comment Policy
Offensive, harrassing or baiting comments will not be tolerated and will be deleted at my discretion.
Comment spam will be deleted.
Please leave a name and either a valid web-site or e-mail address with comments. Comments left without either a valid web-site or e-mail address may be deleted.

Atom Feed
LiveJournal Syndication LOLcats feed

This page is powered by 


Blogger. Isn't yours?

Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

100 Things That Actually Sort-Of Annoy Me About Comics 

So, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, we begin:

100-Web-based comics. Access to a digital camera, a scanner or Photoshop doesn’t make you a comedic genius.

99-Boxes from Diamond that only have one small item in them.

98-Bad decompressed storytelling. Good decompressed storytelling is a thing of wonder and beauty, but we’re rapidly approaching the point where we may need to have writers pass some kind of test before they’re allowed to use the technique. “Because six issues fit so nicely into a trade paper-back” is not an acceptable reason to use the method.

97-Being asked by a customer whether or not a comic that’s really bad is any good or not. Which should I listen to: my inner critic or my inner merchant?

96-“If comics were only cheaper/printed on lousy paper more people would read them.” No, more people would read comics if more comics were any damn good. Price and paper quality don’t even enter into the equation. In fact the ugly truth of the matter is that the low price point of comics is what’s keeping them out of many venues.

95-Advertising a book with the promise of killing off a character. Because there’s no such thing as bad writers who have run out of ways to increase dramatic tension, just bad characters who aren’t interesting or popular enough to make people care about them.

94-“Kids don’t read comics.” Yes they do. They just don’t want to read the same comics that their grand-parents read.

93-While we’re on the subject, the vast majority of Golden Age comics. They just weren’t that good.

92-Marvel’s reprint policy. It’s feast or famine with them these days. Stuff we could really use doesn’t get reprinted, but stuff they want fans to think is a hot seller gets reprinted over and over again in dozens of different formats, regardless of whether or not there’s any actual demand for it. And saying that you’re going back to press because the book “sold out,” when you only print to order in the first place, is at best disingenuous.

91-Variant covers. They were a neat idea the first time. Now they’re just a way to prop up sales.

90-“Ameri”-manga.

89-The very idea of comic book “ages.”

88-The thought that I might have anything whatsoever in common with a member of HEAT.

87-The continuing attempts by comics publishers to duplicate the success of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.

86-Comics publishers that pretend that death in comics is permanent or significant.

85-That comics fans still fall for it every time a marginally popular character is killed.

84-“Batman is considered to be an urban legend.”

83-That English translations of Ralf Koenig comics are hard to come by.

82-That the most posistive portrayal of gay characters in comics is in Japanese books about androgynous little boys.

81-Skip week events.

80-That a serious take on Zorak was actually published outside of fan fiction.

79-Thirty years of lesbian innuendo and “lingerie=evil” in X-Men comics.

78-Being asked when late books are going to ship.

77-Being asked when cancelled books are going to ship.

76-“That” smell. You know the one I’m talking about.

75-Via Mike: When customers who only speak in a mumble get annoyed with you for not understanding what they’re saying.

74-Autobiographical comics. If I wanted to know more about the lives of neurotic people I’d spend more time with my relatives.

73-Customers who call every day asking if we have an item in stock, but never actually come in to buy it.

72-Customers who call in every day asking if we have an item in stock, and when they finally do come in after calling every day for several weeks, get pissed because we sold it to someone else.

71-Barry Blair’s disturbingly androgynous figure work.

70-“Rock of Ages didn’t make any sense.” Always from customers who never seem to have any problems differentiating which alternate timelines various X-Men characters come from.

69-“How much is this baseball card worth?”
We don’t deal in baseball cards.
“Oh, well how much is this baseball card worth then?”

68-Strangers in Paradise

67-People who think that “comic book store” means “free baby-sitting service.”

66-“Comics were better when I was a kid.” No, they weren’t. You just think they were because you were a kid, and as such, had lousy taste.

65-Having to explain to someone who brought their “really good” comics into the store to try to sell them to us why the condition of a book is important.

64-Having to try to explain why the condition of a book is important over the phone.

63-“Do you have any good ninja comics.” You may think I’m kidding, but honest-to-God, I was just asked this the other day.

62-People who come in looking for tattoo designs. Take it from the guy with ink; if you’re going to have an image permanently scarred into your flesh, you’re going to want it to be something you really want to look at every day for the rest of your life. Strolling around a comic book store in the hopes that you find an image that takes your fancy is a one-way ticket to tattoo remorse.

61-People who claim to be Sam Keith fans who say, once I show them his latest work, “But this doesn’t have Wolverine in it!”

60-Customers who buy supplies and “know what they need,” refusing to let me help them make sure that they’re getting exactly what they want to get and need to get, in light of our “no returns” policy on collector supplies…

59-…Because they invariably return the next day complaining that it’s somehow my fault that they bought magazine boards to use with current comic bags.

58-“But it must be out, I saw it on the internet.”

57-Hearing all these sentences on a daily basis.

56-“Off-brand” 70s horror magazines.

55-“The danger room is angry.”

54-The Sin City trailer. Yes, I realize I’m in the minority on this one.

53-That everyone has jumped on this “Superman is a prick” band-wagon, thus making it very difficult for me to make fun of old Superman comics without it looking like I’m jumping on too.

52-Comic books based on toys that outlive the toys they’re based on.

51-Comic books based on video-games.

50-Comics with zombies in them.

49-Thor, even if Garth Ennis is writing the book.

48-Iron Man, even if Warren Ellis is writing the book.

47-Complaints about changes to the ethnicity of comic book characters in film adaptations.

46-Complaints about changes in film adaptations of comics in general.

45-The casual homophobia and misogyny of comic book fans.

44-That Mike Sterling has successfully conned all those people who read his site into thinking that he’s a nice guy. None of you know just how big a jerk he really is. Oh, the stories I could tell.

43-That film-makers have this uncanny knack for making movies based on comics by Alan Moore, and yet not one of them has understood the source material at all.

42-“I’m an artist and I’m looking for reference material.” Because what this always means is “I’m looking for something that’s easy to trace.”

41-“How much is this going to be worth?”

40-Trying to convince people that, no, really, tech stocks are probably a better investment than comic books.

39-Trying to do this to people I’m positive have a garage full of pogs and Beanie Babies.

38-Parents who think nothing of spending $50 on a Yu-Gi-Oh card but balk at the idea of paying $2.25 for a Teen Titans Go comic.

37- The “art” of Alex Ross. Yes, stiffly posed, realistic paintings of people in funny costumes sure are a breathtaking and revolutionary development in art…if you lived in Northern Europe 600 years ago.

36-That there is a sizeable segment of the population that will go to see movies about super-heroes, buy super-hero action figures, play video games about super-heroes, wear clothes with pictures of super-heroes on them and get super-hero logos tattooed on their bodies…but won’t be caught dead reading a comic book.

35-That whenever a talented independent comics creator starts to achieve some success you can literally count the seconds until someone accuses them of being a sell-out.

34-Comic fans who really like Kitty Pryde. No, I mean they really like Kitty Pryde.

33-That Chaos Comics ever existed.

32-That Chaos Comics no longer exists.

31-The Black Racer. Proof that even Jack Kirby could have bad ideas from time to time.

30-That the deification of Jack Kirby has resulted in writers and artists trying to make the Black Racer work in a serious context.

29-When you come into the shop with your Hot Topic pants, “indie band of the moment” t-shirt, studded leather wrist-bands, emo glasses and self-consciously “punk” haircut to buy all the acceptably hip indie and art comics that just got reviewed in whatever pretentious scenester music magazine you read…and pay with a credit card. Oh, wait, I’m sorry. This entry should actually go on my “Signs You’re A Poser” list.

28-Hearing the phrase “It’s not as good as the Jim Lee version” in reference to Jim Aparo’s Batman.

27-Customers who feel the need to ask me questions that are asked on a comics cover, such as “Where is the Justice League?” I don’t know, why don’t you try reading the book!

26-Magazines about comics that have a price-guide in them. Especially if it’s a price-guide for CGC graded comics.

25-The overall state of comics “journalism.” So we’ve got Tom Spurgeon and the occasional piece over at IcV2 for good reporting…and about two dozen sites devoted to reprinting publisher press releases and soft-ball interviews with the creators of the comics talked about in those same press releases.

24-Artists still trying to draw like Jack Kirby.

23-That talented artists made the mistake of taking Ayn Rand seriously.

22-Artists who attempt to make super-hero costumes look “realistic” and “practical.” In other words, I don’t need to see all the seams, buttons and fasteners on the costumes.

21-Comic fans who insist on reading dense, multi-layered works as if they are only surface-level, straight forward superhero comics.

20-The mistaken belief that there is some kind of hierarchy of geekdom. That it is somehow acceptable for Star Wars fans to look down on Star Trek fans, for Trekkies to look down on D&D players, for D&D players to look down on comic fans, and for comic fans to look down on furries. Guess what? You’re all nerds. Deal with it.

19-That there are approximately one million different manga titles being published in English about scrappy young boys hoping to become the best fighter, ninja, samurai or card player around, and an equal number of titles about whiny and neurotic teenage girls who inexplicably have the coolest and most handsome boys in school fall in love with them. No wonder people complain about all manga books looking alike.

18-Via Mike Sterling: Fucking crazy comic book fans. Let me explain. The kind of fan who, as a former co-worker once put it, wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to look up and see the Hulk walking down the street.

17-Comic fans who read interviews with Grant Morrison and get upset with what he says, not realizing that he’s being facetious.

16-Comic books that only exist because Alex Ross wanted to paint the covers.

15-Comic creators who claim that they aren’t being racist just before they make a racist statement.

14-Comic creators who get bent out of shape by comic fans who refer to fictional characters by diminutive nick-names.

13-Comic creators who absolutely refuse to permit their work to grow and evolve, and so are continuing to put out the exact same kind of boring, tired and cliché-ridden work that they were churning out twenty years ago.

12-Ah, the hell with it. The John Byrne Forum.

11-Articles in the more sophisticated comic magazines that read as if they were written by an over-eager grad student with a “Dictionary of Pretentious and Obfuscatory Words” handy.

10- Customers who come into the shop with a list of about two hundred back issues they’re looking for, a list that will require at least two of us to go through several dozen boxes of back-issues, and possibly even a trip into the dread “back room of over-stock” to hunt down those comics…on Wednesday morning. Any other day of the week I’d be more than happy to help people track down that many back issues…but not on the day I’m trying to sort through twenty boxes from Diamond. Not on what is usually our busiest day of the week. And what kills me, what absolutely kills me, is that the only people who do this know that Wednesday is new comics day!

9-Comics creators and publishers who leak information on creators and titles to internet gossip columnists, then complain when leaked information about them and their titles appears in internet gossip columns.

8-Comics creators and publishers who dismiss all on-line conversations about comics as “fifteen fat losers who can’t get girl-friends talking to each other with different screen names.”

7-Comics creators and publishers who get upset by what those “fifteen fat losers” say about them. If you don’t think any comics discussion going on on-line is worth taking seriously, why are you taking it seriously?

6-That the vast majority of on-line comics discussion really doesn’t deserve to be taken seriously after all.

5-The gall of “columnists” for internet comics “news” sites complaining that people who write blogs are “unprofessional.” “People who live in glass houses” and all that.

4-This notion that seems to have gotten into some peoples heads that Alan Moore and Grant Morrison hate super-heroes. If you’ve read their work and come away with that impression, might I respectfully suggest that your reading comprehension isn’t as good as you think it is.

3-That the most visible public face of comics is a magazine that drunken frat boys on spring break find sophomoric.

2-When a reporter for the local free weekly (and boy do you get what you pay for in that paper) described the service in the store as “apathetic” in an article, when Mike and I know for damn certain that every time this person came into the store we went out of our way to help them because they were extremely over-sensitive to comics content.

1-People who are so unrelentingly negative that they don’t have anything better to do with their time than make lists of things that annoy them about comics.

|

Featured Links

Blue Marble Bounty
Hallowed Tree Furniture
Jed Dougherty
John's Journal
Inner Light Community Gospel Choir

Latest Links

Stuff Geeks Love Armagideon Time Living Between Wednesdays Benjamin Birdie
Get Off The Internet
Ken Lowery

Comics Blogs

New Comic Weblogs Updates

Absorbascon
Again With the Comics
All Ages
Artistic License
Bahlactus
Batfatty Vs. the Chocodiles
BeaucoupKevin
Bear in the City
Benjamin Birdie
Bispectacult
Blockade Boy
Bloggity-Blog-Blog-Blog
Broken Glass Makes Me Laugh
Bully Says
Chaos Monkey
Clea's Cave
Collected Editions
Comics212.Net
Comics-and-More
Comics Ate My Brain
Comics Fairplay
Comic Treadmill
Crisis/Boring Change
Dave's Long Box
Delenda est Carthago
Doctor K's 100-Page Super Spectacular
Eddie-torial Comments
Fandamentalist
Flesh-Head's Treehouse
Gay Comics List
Gay League
Milo George
Giant Fighting Robot Report
Glyphs
Gumpop
Heroes & Villains
House of L
House of the Ded
The Hurting
In Sequence
Inside Out
Invincible Super-Blog
Irresponsible Pictures
Isotope
Jog-The Blog
Johnny Bacardi Show
Kid Chris
Lady, That's My Skull
Ledger Domain
Let's You and Him Fight
Living Between Wednesdays
Mangablog
Mangatalk
Metrokitty
Motime Like the Present
Near Mint Heroes
Neilalien
Noetic Concordance
Of Course, Yeah
one diverse comic book nation
Polite Dissent
Precocious Curmudgeon
Pretty, Fizzy Paradise
Prism Comics
Progressive Ruin
Project Rooftop
Random Happenstance
Random Panels
Read About Comics
Revoltin' Developments
Ringwood
Roar of Comics
Seven Hells
Silent Accomplice
Snap Judgments
So I Like Superman
Sporadic Sequential
Super Underwear Perverts
Suspension of Disbelief
Trickle of Conciousness
Vintage Spandex
Welt am Draht
When Fangirls Attack
Word on the Street
Written World
Yaoi 911
Yet Another Comics Blog


Comic Creators and Publishers

AiT/PlanetLar
Bloodstains on the Looking Glass
Boom! Studios
Boytoy
Brit Doodz
Channel Surfing
Comic Book Heaven
Fabio Moon and Gabriel Ba
Ferret Press
Tim Fish
Flaming Artist
Kaja Foglio
Gelatometti
Steve Gerblog
Hembeck.com
Highway 62
Hobotopia
Illusive Arts
Innocent Bystander
Ralf Koenig
The Less Said The Better
Steve MacIsaac
Man's Adventure
Meatcute
Grant Morrison
Mostly Black
neilcomics
Studygroup12
SUPERFRANKENSTEIN
Tom of Finland Foundation
Viper Comics
Mike Wieringo's Sketch Blog
X-Ray Spex


Web Comics

Adam and Andy
Best of Friends
Captain Confederacy
Deep Fried
Dork Tower
Fancy
The Gay Monsters
Get Your War On
K Chronicles
Kyle's Bed and Breakfast
Nodwick
Pass Fail Studios
The Rack
Split Lip
Tom the Dancing Bug
The Web Comic List


Culture & Politics

Advocate
Kevin Allison
Armagideon Time
Dario Argento
BBC News
Big Bad Blog
Brian's Drive-In Theater
Camp Blood
Captain Corey
Center of Gravitas
A Child of Atom
Cinebeats
Commerical Closet
Paul Cornell
Crocodile Caucus
Culture Pulp
John Oak Dalton
Dark, But Shining
Dark Loch
Dave Ex Machina
Philip K. Dick
Digital Digressions
Feminine Miss Geek
Film Experience Blog
Final Girl
Fortean Times
Gay Gamer
Gaymer
Gay Porn Blog
Rick Gebhardt's World
Get Off The Internet
Good As You
Homefront Radio
Insufficient Homosexual
Joe My God
Jumbotron6000
Chris Karath
Kung Fu Monkey
LeftyBrown's Corner
Little Terrors
Ken Lowery
Miraclo Miles
Mr. Dan Kelly
My Three Dollars Worth
No Sword
Phil Ochs
One Hundred Little Dolls
Or Alcoholism
The Outbreak
Outpost Gallifrey
Pop Culture Gadabout
Psychbloke
Pulp of the Day
Queerbeacon
The Rude Pundit
Screw Bronze
Sock Drawer
Something to be Desired
Starrfucker
Street Laughter
Stuff Geeks Love
Tales from Treasure Island
TangognaT
TBogg
Terry Pratchett
This Boy Elroy
This Modern World
Toner Mishap
Towleroad
Trusy Plinko Stick
Turning the Light Around
TLA Video
Unnatural Devotions
Vintage Beefcake
Warren Ellis
Wax Banks
Where Threads Come Loose
Where Threads Come Loose-Links
Whiskey and Failure
Wisse Words
You Know What I Like?





© 2007 Dorian Wright. Some images are © their respective copyright holders. They appear here for the purposes of review or satire only.