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Friday, December 24, 2004
Last Customers Of The Christmas Season
Please, next year, do me a profound favor and do not shop for Christmas presents if you are a) drunk, b) stoned, or c) on crack. When I have to stand five feet away from you because of the alcohol fumes it makes it hard to hear what you're slurring at me. Likewise I can't stand the smell of the demon weed, and patchouli doesn't actually hide it at all, it only accentuates it. And when you're on crack, well, it's really hard to hide the fact that you're on crack...
Also, please mind your children while they are in the store. It's very distracting to have to stop your kid from climbing up the comics rack when I have customers to help.
"Do you have any unique comics?"
Well, what exactly do you mean by unique.
"That have Spider-Man in them."
There are quite a few comics with Spider-Man.
"Well, I want one that's really special and unique and that no-one else will have."
In that case, I do happen to have some older and hard-to-find Spidey books in the display over here.
The scene: a customer has just bought a small stack of comic books, and individual bags for each. There is a small line of people waiting to be wrung up behind said customer. The credit-card machine has been acting-up, which means many transactions are taking longer than they should. This is what I hear from my customer:
"Can you put the comic books in the bags for me. I don't know how."
And that, ladies and gentlemen and others, is why I'm glad Mike gets to deal with post-Christmas shoppers...