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Monday, November 15, 2004
Amusing Retail Anecdotes
"Do you have any Spawn: Impala comics?"
I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear the name there.
"I'm looking for Spawn: Impala comics."
Do you possibly mean Spawn the Impaler? Or are you asking me if there are any comics about Spawn's car?
"Wow, cool, you have C.S.I. cards!"
Yes, we sure do. Would you like some?
"Do you have a starter set?"
"Wow, I didn't even know there was a trading-card game based on C.S.I.!"
(Now, repeat this conversation with every. single. trading-card set we get in stock...)
"Do you have any real comics?"
Uhm...as opposed to the millions of "fake" comics that currently surround us?
"No, real comics, like The Far Side!"
"I'm a bit confused by these comics."
Okay, how can I help you with that?
"Well, what order should I read them in?"
...Well, if it were me, I'd read this one before I read that one.
"Oh! So #2 comes after #1!"
"Do you have any Conan comics?"
Sure, around about which issue numbers did you want to see?
"I don't want to buy them, I want to sell them."
Okay, do you have the comics you want to sell with you?
"No, I just want to know how much you'd pay me for them."
Well, that depends entirely on the condition of the comic and the demand for it. I'd really have to see the books.
"No, I just need to know how much you charge for the Conan's you have already."
Well...it varies, but most of them are probably less than $5 each.
"So, if I brought in my copies, you'd pay me $5 each for them, right?"
No. I'd pay about half what I could sell them for, if they were ones I needed and they were in good enough condition for me to sell them.
"You mean you don't pay the same price that you sell them for! What a rip-off!"
"Do you have any comics that are less adult?"
Sure, we've got plenty of kids comics, let me show you where they are.
"No! I was just looking at those! They're too mature for my children!"
Which comics were you looking at, exactly?
"Betty and Veronica and Scooby-Doo! You should be ashamed for selling dirty comics like that to children!"
I swear, I couldn't make these stories up if I tried...