Man of the Moment

Sean William Scott

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Thursday, July 29, 2004

Conversations I'm Tired of Having With Customers 

If anyone ever wonders why I don't take smarmy comments regarding my occasional venting at comic book fans and comic store customers very well should bear this in mind: I work someplace where people have serious discussions about setting up conscription programs for the Gnomish Lands. The patience of a saint would be sorely taxed by that sort of thing after dealing with it for eight hours a day, five days a week for several years. Believe me, I could be much more foul-tempered about it than I am.

I'm tired of having to explain to people that a coverless comic isn't in "Gem Mint" condition.

I'm tired of having to explain to people that just because it's in a bag, that doesn't mean it's in perfect condition.

I'm tired of having to explain that the term "graphic novel" is not an indication of sexually explicit content.

I'm tired of having to explain to people that their long-boxes full of Image #1s is probably not going to contain anything we could want or need for the store and that frankly, on the off chance that there is something we could use in there, the amount of time it would take going through the box and checking it against our inventory in comparison to what we would actually pay for the one or two titles we do need isn't going to be worth either their time or mine.

I'm tired of having to explain to people that just because there are comic books based on "Sonic the Hedgehog" and comic books based on "Aliens" that doesn't mean that they're equivalent in terms of content.

I'm tired of having to explain that just because a publisher (*cough*Marvel, *cough-cough* Image) says a book will be released on a certain date that doesn't neccessarily mean it will actually be released on that date.

I'm tired of having to explain that, yes, I do really need to see a comic for myself before I could hazard a guess as to what it might be worth based on its condition.

I'm tired of having to explain to customers that I don't actually speak Japanese, and so they might have better luck asking me for help finding a particular title if they'd ask for it by the English title rather than trying to impress me with the fact that they know the Japanese title.

I'm tired of having to tell people not to lay down in the middle of the floor and read comics.

I'm tired of having to listen to people complain about what's happening in titles they don't buy.

I'm even more tired of listening to people complain about how much they hate the titles they are buying.

I'm tired of having to listen to the 1000th debate about who's a better Green Lantern, Hal or Kyle?

I'm tired of smiling politely as customers talk about which comic book heroines they'd "do."

(Okay, actually I lied, because whenever that particular conversation rolls around and becomes too bothersome I can always interject that I wouldn't mind a tumble with Wildcat and that usually puts a stop to it right away.)


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