There are two things this episode did right that I’m quite happy with. The first is actually provide a resolution to the forced mystery of “who is Clara” that, while not entirely satisfying, pays off and makes a certain degree of narrative sense, while also giving a nice nod to the show’s history. Yeah, it’s a bit forced as far as resolutions go and there’s no convincing arguments that it was properly seeded within the stories themselves, hinging as it does on a rather convenient catch-phrase.

The second thing the episode did well was actually make me like River Song again. Granted, it did this by pretty emphatically drawing a line under her character’s time with the show, but here she was the foil for the Doctor that she was always clearly meant to be. She also gets the single best exit for a companion in the new series since that brief and shining moment when we actually thought Rose was gone for good.

But then there’s the rest of the episode, which to be precise, was an incoherent mess. It’s not just that using the Great Intelligence as the villain is completely unsatisfying. He/it/they have only had one prominent appearance this season, and only appeared twice during the original series, so as a villain willing to hound the Doctor to his tomb to undo time, it just doesn’t fit. The Whispermen are a horrific visual, but that’s all they are; they’re a gimmick in search of a story to hang on, only Moffatt didn’t even bother to do that much. I can forgive the use of Vastra, Jenny and Strax as the hostages to force the Doctor to open his tomb, because given the logistics of television production, these are the actors available. But storywise we just haven’t seen that the Doctor has a strong enough connection to these characters to make their peril seem legitimate. We’re told he does, but it’s never been shown to us.

The big fake-out with the Doctor’s name I can forgive as well; there’s no real reason to suspect the show would actually have been willing to go there. What I have a harder time forgiving is the complete abandonment, again, of dangling plot threads from the past. We were given repeated warnings of how important Trenzalore was, and how dangerous it would be for the Doctor to go there. An entire species organized a religious movement to somehow prevent him from getting there by killing him before he could (we’ll ignore that this would apparently create an even worse paradox, because the Silence were apparently idiots). And when the moment finally comes it’s because…a minor villain was thwarted a couple of times, and the people trying to prevent this are nowhere to be seen. I know Moffatt gets grief, deservedly, for dropping plot points that much is made of (like, say, a TARDIS exploding while an ominous voice drops prophetic hints), but if this was his attempt to tie storylines of the past three years together, it really comes off as a rush job. As if he just threw together a resolution for the sake of having one.

As for the final reveal, I won’t lie: I groaned. It’s too early to say what this previously unknown version of the Doctor actually means for the show. Fake outs shouldn’t surprise anyone at this point. Mostly I’m tired of the “everything you know is wrong” school of revelations for long running stories. It doesn’t make me excited for what you have planned (Moffatt has taught me that anything important won’t be followed up on meaningfully in any case), it frustrates me that a lazy retcon is being presented as something to be excited by.

The Challenge of Smoke Wade, 1951, Robert J. Hogan
Sometimes it takes a lot of character to refrain from pointing out the unintentional homoeroticism of western paperback covers…

From the moment you see a character walk on screen in pseudo-Victorian garb, wearing a bent top hat, you’re reminded “oh yeah, this is the Neil Gaiman episode.”

Fortunately, that sort of affected character is the only Gaimanism in this episode. Which isn’t to say that, overall, this was a great story. Again, we’ve got an episode that is, at best, only okay. Not bad enough to really complain about, but not good enough to be worthy of praise. A big part of this is how badly over-hyped the episode ended up being. If you paid any attention to the press leading up to it, this was the episode that was supposed to make the Cybermen “scary” again. That’s a fairly subjective way to promote an episode, and does a big disservice to the writer of virtually every Cybermen story since the series returned. But it turned out to be mostly talk, as the only evidence of increased “scariness” on display was a dodgy super-speed effect that was only used once.

The other major problems with the story are two elements that probably seemed clever at the time, but don’t work in the finished episode. The first was having Matt Smith argue with himself for a large chunk of the story. Smith actually does quite a good job playing an evil-minded version of the Doctor, and there’s probably story potential in the concept, but scenes inside the Doctor’s head, and cross-cutting between different angles of Smith, come off as somewhat cheap and silly in the end. Not as risible as Gollum arguing with himself, no, but up there on the scale. The other aspect that never quite came together were the child actors. If the characters were meant to be written as rude, obnoxious brats you wouldn’t mind seeing horribly killed, well, then the writing was actually quite strong. But the characters annoying attitude towards being on another planet in the future was so broad and over-stated that it’s hard to tell what anyone was actually going for with this portrayals. Was this a grumpy old man portrayal of “kids today”, so jaded that not even time travel impresses them?

Plot wise, it’s a return to the old “base under siege” stand-by, with some nice nods to old series Cybermen continuity. (I myself was quite pleased to see not only an acknowledgement that gold is an effective weapon against them, but a reasonable explanation for sad nerds like me as to why it isn’t anymore.) The abandoned amusement park setting was a nice idea, but could have been used better. As it is, it felt mostly like an excuse to save money by reusing a lot of old costumes, props and sets. And it would have been nice to avoid the new series cliche of “and all the monsters are all dead forever, except they’re not.” It was silly when they did it with every Dalek episode, and it’s silly here. Monster can be defeated “for now.” Not every encounter has to be a universe-threatening catastrophe.

Heroes & Monsters of Greek Myth, 1967, Bernard Evslin, Dorothy Evslin and Ned Hoopes
Apparently 60s ideas of classical Greece did not include practical headgear.

One of the interesting quirks of Doctor Who fandom is the wide disparity in opinion that mediocre episodes engender. Part of this is probably due to larger fandom trends: everything has to be awesomesauce or the worst. episode. ever. More frequently than is probably healthy for anyone, merely mediocre episodes aren’t allowed to be, well, mediocre. And so Mark Gatiss offering us another bit of Victorian camp in “The Crimson Horror” is either the lowest depths to which the show can sink, or the best thing ever. And not just a bit of old school Who cheese.

Most of the awesomesauce audience is reacting to the episode because it marks the return and prominent screen-time to lesbian lizard-lady Madame Vastra, ninja maid Jenny, and potato butler Strax. And while Dan Starkey brings much needed comic relief to the show in his portrayal of Strax, Vastra and Jenny are mostly just…there. They’re one note, and while their initial appearances seemed promising, it’s now clear that they really function best as background reminders of how weird, strange and delightful the Doctor Who universe can be, not as leading characters in their own light. There’s simply not enough to them to justify giving them leading roles.

The complaints that this was the worst thing ever broadcast on tv seem equally odd to me. No, this wasn’t by any measure a good episode. Diana Rigg chews scenery shamelessly, apparently never having gotten the memo that the tone of the series isn’t quite as high camp as it was in the 80s. The “monster” is an equally shameless rubber puppet, and the script never quite goes as full throatedly for the themes of religious fundamentalism leading to apocalyptic extremism that it suggests on the surface. The only visual inventiveness is the use of grainy film-tones for a flash-back sequence, and a slight nod to another bit of Victorian camp from the original series, “Ghost Light.” Only Rachel Stirling puts in a genuinely compelling performance, as the blind and unloved daughter of Rigg’s villainess, and she mostly functions as a plot device.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with mediocre Doctor Who. In fact, I rather prefer mediocre Who to the cringe-worthy stories we’ve been getting most of this season. But when mediocre seems to be the best the show can aspire to, something has gone deeply wrong.

Uncle Pogo So-So Stories, 1953, Walt Kelly
Man, dig that marginalia.

2000 AD–2000 AD
A sampler of current and classic material from the long-lived British weekly. A nice variety of art styles, though all of the stories tend towards the sci-fi and the gory, so not as great a selection of the variety of material available from the publisher.
It’s free

Absolution—Avatar Press
I’ve liked most of the Christos Gage comics I’ve read in the past, but I really don’t need any more “realistic” super-heroes that kill people, thanks.
It’s free

Aphrodite IX #1—Image
Pretty art, and the T&A quotient is actually fairly toned down compared to past incarnations of the title. It’s still almost impossible to actually follow the story, though.
It’s free

Atomic Robo—Red 5 Comics
Each year, Atomic Robo is one of the FCBD highlights, and it’s true this year as well. Fantastic action and humor and art all around. The back-up feature is an introduction to a new title called “Bodie Troll” and I’m in love with the troll cursed with excessive cuteness instantly.
MUST GET IT

Avatar: The Last Airbender/Star Wars—Dark Horse
The usual standards of Dark Horse licensed material apply here. If you’re fans of the properties, you’ll probably enjoy this. If not, you’ll probably be a little lost as to what is supposed to be going on.
It’s free

Bongo Comics Free-For-All—Bongo Comics
Pretty much the same material Bongo presents every year: a sampling of Simpsons comics that feel slightly past their sell-by date and even more neutered than what the show has become. Nice Sergio Aragones art, though.
It’s free

Buck Rogers—Hermes Press
Most of this book is a reprint of a Buck Rogers Sunday strip storyline. For fans of classic comics material, this may hold some interest, but it’s probably going to read as too hokey and dated for most readers.
It’s free

Chakra the Invincible—Graphic India
While I’m all for seeing greater diversity in comics, superhero comics in particular, kids comics especially, this is pretty much just a collection of fight pages, with not much in the way of story.
It’s free

Damsels: Mermaids—Dynamite
Not so much a “dark reimaging” of a fairy tale as a rather rote sequel.
It’s free

DC Nation Super Sampler—DC Comics
This new Beware the Batman cartoon has a very harsh and angular art style I’m not sure I care for, and an Alfred who looks like a 60s Disney movie thug. Otherwise, this is pretty typical DC kids fare, probably of most interest to adults for the Amethyst cast bio pages included.
It’s free

Disney Fairies—Papercutz
Cute stories about Tinkerbell and other fairies. Attractive art, but never really rises above your average licensed comic level.
It’s free

Endangered Weapon B—AAM/Markosia
The lead story is a steampunk absurdist adventure tale by David Tallerman and Bob Molesworth which shows promise and has attractive art. The rest of the stories are presented too briefly to fairly judge, but none initially interest me. But the lead story does have me intrigued. Maybe I just like the ideas of dodderingly racist British explorers and bears in mech suits.
It’s free

Fubar—Fubar Press
War comics from various eras of history, only with zombies. *sigh*
Avoid

Grimm—Dynamite
I’m about a season and a half behind on the show, so this had spoilers galore. The art is workmanlike and the story isn’t much more remarkable. It’s disappointing, because I had been considering picking this up as a series, but if this is what the book is going to look like, I’m probably not going to bother.
It’s free

Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.—Marvel Comics
These are really incredibly ugly photo comics adapting episodes of the cartoons. The cartoons may be good (though what we see here isn’t promising) but the presentation here is so unattractive I’m not inclined to find out.
Avoid

Infinity—Marvel Comics
A joyless prequel to the next Marvel cross-over, capitalizing on presumed new reader interest in Thanos. Who, outside of a back-up reprint, barely appears. Normally the problem with this sort of thing is that it’s impossible to follow without already reading a bunch of books, but it’s not an issue here, because almost nothing happens whatsoever, and no familiar characters really appear. There is also a few page preview for “Endless Wartime” which Marvel is advertising as their first original graphic novel, which is a nice way to toss the 39 they published between 1982 and 1989, not to mention all those “Season One” books they’ve been putting out, down the memory hole.
It’s free

Judge Dredd Classics—IDW
Attractive reprint of the first Judge Death story, with Brian Bolland art, as well as some other Dredd related Bolland material. Good quality stuff that should be appealing now that Dredd seems popular with US readers again.
It’s free

Kaboom Summer Blast—Boom Entertainment
An assortment of Kaboom kids comics, mostly licensed properties that I have no real interest in, and in at least two cases do not understand the appeal of in even a very slight way.
It’s free

Kellerman/L’Amour—Bantam
I didn’t know a Thomas Yeates illustrated adaptation of a Louis L’Amour novel was something I would want, but here we are. The Michael Gaydos illustrated adaptation of Kellerman’s “The Web” seems intriguing as well, but given my tastes I’m probably more inclined to track down the novel.
Get it

Marble Season—Drawn and Quarterly
Gilbert Hernandez’s semi-autobiographical childhood memoir expertly captures the realities and nuance of that age. It’s brilliant work from a mature creator. And this package includes an “aftwards” that “contextualizes” the material for those Team Comix wankers still around, unable to just enjoy a good comic on its own merits.
Get it, but rip out the back matter

Mass Effect/RIPD/Killjoys—Dark Horse Comics
Setting aside the video-game tie-in, these are fairly good, but typical of the Dark Horse style at the moment: high concept, vaguely horror-ish, not bad but not remarkable. The Mass Effect tie-in is…a Mass Effect tie-in.
It’s free

Molly Danger—Action Lab
Really nicely illustrated and engaging girl-friendly super-hero comics in the lead, and an even more impressive “Princeless” back-up story. This is the kind of impressive, best-foot-forward material I like to see the comics industry promoting for FCBD
Get it

Mouse Guard/Rust—Archaia
Archaia’s selection of material usually turns out to be the highlight of any FCBD, and that looks to be the case here as well. A flip-book with a collection of beautifully illustrated and engaging shorts from a variety of titles.
Get it

Mr. Puzzle—Capstone
This is just absolutely peculiar, and the coloring hurt my eyes, which mostly just means I am too old to be the target audience for this.
It’s free

NFL Rush Zone—Action Lab
The lead here is nicely drawn, and the idea of football super-heroes lends itself to cynical blogger jokes, but it’s probably good material for kids into sports who are reluctant readers. The fantasy back-up, “Skyward,” is more to my taste, and also well done.
It’s free

Overstreet Comic Book Marketplace—Gemstone Publishing
Every year they put this out, and every year it misses the point of FCBD in every possible way, pushing comics as collectibles and investments rather than something you read and enjoy.
Avoid

Pippi/Anna and Froga—Drawn and Quarterly
I can’t make up my mind if I like the primitivist nature of these European kids comics or not. They’re aggressively weird, and it continually feels that these things are being pitched at hipster adults and not kids. But they’re cute and funny.
It’s free

Prince Valiant—Fantagraphics
Good quality reprints of a Hal Foster “Prince Valiant” story, in line with the exceptional work Fantagraphics has been doing on their reprint projects. Probably of more interest to folks interested in comics history than a casual reader, though.
It’s free

Ramayan 3392 AD—Graphic India
Beautifully illustrated shorts based on Hindu gods, with a slight sci-fi edge to them. Interesting material and worth a look.
It’s free

Rated Free for Everyone—Oni Press
Oni generally does a good job with their all ages books, and this is no exception. Mermin the Merman is a cute kids story and the Crogan Adventures short is up to the standards of that series as well.
Get it

The Red Ten—Comix Tribe
*sigh* “Gritty”, “mature” comic with JLA stand-ins, as set up for a series about a Joker stand-in killing people.
Avoid

RuRouni Kenshin: Restoration/Dragonball—Viz
Mostly stand alone chapters from a samurai drama and a martial arts comedy, both fairly known properties at this point. Probably cool for kids into manga for whom Dragonball hasn’t been horribly tainted by being something their dad was into.
It’s free

Scratch 9—Hermes Press
Cute comic about a cat who becomes involved with a mad scientist, and then strange stuff happens. It’s actually pretty charming, with appealing art, and just enough of a weird edge to appeal to kids and adults.
Get it

Sesame Street/Strawberry Shortcake—Ape Entertainment
Pretty and charming kids books aimed at very young kids. For licensed books, very nicely done.
It’s free

The Smurfs—Papercutz
The usual nice selection of Peyo Smurf stories and other kids comics from Papercutz. Annoying Orange has nice art from Mike Kazaleh, but Ariol was slightly off-putting due to the attempt at comic self-involvement from the characters.
It’s free

Sonic and Mega Man: Worlds Collide Prelude—Archie Comics
I have absolutely no idea what any of this is.
It’s free

Spongebob Freestyle Funnies—Bongo Comics
I don’t get Spongebob’s appeal. I really don’t. These are…weird kids comics that feel in line with me just really not understanding what’s great about Spongebob.
It’s free

The Steam Engines of Oz—Arcana
Nicely illustrated, and while I’m generally sick of all things Oz and Steampunk at the moment, this was surprisingly good.
It’s free

The Strangers—Oni Press
A loving tribute to 60s TV sci-fi. Half Avengers, half Doctor Who, all weird and go-go boots. Pretty fantastic first issue.
Get it

The Suff of Legend/Finding Gossamyr—Th3rd World Studios
Beautiful fantasy comics, each story acting as a good, general introduction to the series featured.
Get it

Superman: Last Son of Krypton—DC Comics
So, with a new Superman movie with fairly positive buzz coming up, a new status quo in the regular titles, DC decides to lead with…a reprint of a several year old story, an incomplete one at that, that ties in more with the generally not well thought of at the moment “Superman Returns” than “Man of Steel.”
I really don’t understand DC sometimes.
It’s free

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles New Animated Adventures—IDW
I was never a Turtle fan, so I have no horse in this being faithful either to the original comic or the cartoon. This is pretty typical kids TV tie-in comic fare, but the art style has a blocky look that’s pretty arresting.
It’s free

The Tick—NEC
Amusing and strange story, about what you’d expect from a Tick comic, really.
It’s free

Top Shelf Kids Club—Top Shelf Comics
Nice assortment of short, all ages stories from Top Shelf, all pretty familiar if you’ve picked up one of their FCBD books in the past.
It’s free

Uglydoll Comics—Viz
A collection of UglyDoll, Hello Kitty, Pokemon and something called Mameshiba comics. The art is colorful and lively and kid appealing, even if the stories feel slightly more like something an adult thinks a kid would like.
It’s free

Valiant 2013—Valiant
The relaunch of the Valiant line has proven to be fairly controversial, especially as regards ownership of some of the properties. This is the first opportunity I’ve had to look at any of the current material, and frankly, it’s pretty generic indie super-hero fare. The lead story is a prequel to a cross-over, has some off-putting violence, and not much else to say.
It’s free

Valiant Masters—Valiant
Oh, hey, reprints of 90s comics.
Avoid

The Walking Dead—Image
Yeah. I like Adlard’s art, but I’m still not even remotely interested in anything to do with zombies.
It’s free

World of Archie Digest—Archie
A full (almost) 100 page digest sampler of mostly classic Archie strips from a variety of artists. A good selection of material presented in an attractive and appealing format.
Get it

Worlds of Aspen 2013—Aspen
A short prequel to a new Fathom storyline and lots and lots of ads for other Aspen books.
Avoid

Quite possibly the stupidest possible resolution to a problem in a time travel themed story that you could think of is to hit a reset button so that the events of the story never actually happened. In terms of insulting your audience and showing disdain for characters, it’s not quite as bad as the “it’s all a dream” ending, but it’s close. The only way to make a giant reset button ending even worse is if you actually have a giant reset button be the mechanism by which everything is reset.

Which is exactly what happens in Steven Thompson’s story. It’s utterly baffling how anyone involved in the production of the series thought this was a good idea. But then, this is the same Steven Thompson who wrote the bafflingly racist “The Blind Banker” episode of Sherlock under Moffat’s watch, so incredibly bad ideas making their way through to the television screen is not completely unexpected.

Nothing is accomplished in this episode, and what little progress is made on the “mystery” of the season is undone by the stupid and insulting ending. Even the few good moments are rendered awful by the ending. We almost had a possible explanation for the abandoned “the TARDIS explodes” plotline, but no. Even a resolution to the forced “who is the Doctor” story is offered, in a way that actually thematically works, but no, it’s undone.

This is an awful excuse for Doctor Who.

Mini-Mysteries, 1973, Julia Remine Piggin
“The killer was…the short guy!”
“Again?”

Neil Cross’ second episode of the season works, but it works for several reasons, some of which are slightly complicated. For one, this is the first episode in a long time that feels like a throwback to an earlier era. Specifically, this feels like a story that could have fit in quite well during the period when Robert Holmes was the show’s script editor, or for that matter Andrew Cartmel’s tenure in the same role. Superficially, it’s because the gothic pseduo-supernatural setting paired with the science-fiction hand waving explanations, matches the tenor of those periods and the kinds of stories the writers were interested in telling. The choice of period works along with these, as with some set dressing and costuming, the episode has the same look and feel of 70s British television horror, the period that gave us The Stone Tape, Children of the Stones and Sapphire and Steel.

The story works for reasons beyond the expert recreation of the mood of the stories of the past. The limited sets and relatively small stakes of the story mean that it’s much more focused, with room for characterization and exploration. Dougray Scott and Jessica Raine are each given nice moments to build character and properly emote, and Matt Smith and Jenna Louise Coleman also get some good bonding moments. Clara gets some particularly good dialogue and depth, which is nice, because we’re again given an episode where she doesn’t have much to do. Even the obligatory moments devoted to the mystery of Clara are integrated as seamlessly as possible and fit with the tone and flow of the story.

While it was nice to have a story where the “monster” turns out to be nothing of the sort, a nice tie-in to the relative morality of the Ice Warrior last week, and a change of pace for the show in general, the story is somewhat let down by the actual presence of the monster. In that this is a story that didn’t really need one. A ghost that turns out to be an out-of-phase time traveler is story enough. While the presence of a monster fits the Gothic tone of the story, it doesn’t serve much purpose other than to be misunderstood. The resolution of that aspect of the story is tacked-on, almost an afterthought, and very much occurring after the real climax. Again, it feels a little bit more like a need to have a toy for each episode than an actual story requirement.